Tuesday, 14 May 2019

ANCESTRY DNA - where am I from? #TightwadDad Podcast 099



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

ANCESTRY DNA UNBOXING & REVIEW #TIGHTWAD DAD PODCAST with Neil Mossey and Joe 012

(Click here, or press PLAY below.)




Hi welcome back to the Happy Hut, this is our Tightwad Dad podcast.
I'm Neil.
And I’m Joe.
You got this for your birthday, didn’t you.
I did! I got this from my sister - I got a DNA testing kit from Ancestry DNA
A DNA testing kit from my sister.
Do you know what DNA is?
So people, scientists, know how you're related
Yeah.
Something like that.

Anyway thanks sister - it's a brilliant present
So this is what you get inside the ancestry DNA box
Bag.
Where they collect the DNA
This is the box to send it
It's like a syringe that you put your human saliva sample
And what else do you get?
A box to put it in the mail. Nothing else.
Hey it's quite a nice box that it comes in.
Organised.

Shall we go through the instructions?
This is everything you've got to do
Dad’s gonna spit into it, do all the gross stuff.
I think that's quite a lot I've got to gob into
Are you allowed to drink water?
I don't think you are. You’re not supposed to drink but I've been eating love hearts all afternoon
That was like an hour ago, Dad.

You see what it says? “Spit to here”
A wavy line.
That's the wavy line
That's gonna be embarrassing
Excuse me
I'll give you some privacy
Ugh. Blur it out.
[Laugh] I want to see when it’s over.
Bubbles don't count
Do you want me to blur it out
yeah blur it out.
More. You’ve got millions of bubbles. You’ve just got a little bit more - wait -
This says “don't overfill”
Just a tiny bit more.
So I’m up to here with the bubbles - I think I've got more bubbles cuz I've been eating Love Hearts all afternoon.
I think that's enough.

Hey maybe they'll detect the love hearts in my DNA
Okay well I say it's pretty exact - I've managed to get my spit after the wavy line.
Wait, let me see?
Yeah
Oh I feel a bit ill after that - right - it's warm as well.
Tightly release stabilizing - the stabilizing fluid
It's called stabilizing fluid
yeah

Oh there you go look you’ve got to really twist it hard there you go
Right it’s all gone in.
Shake
No really hard like - one two three four okay you're done you're done
Place the tube in the collection bag
So what do we do with the DNA now?
I think you can obviously see you put it in there
Oh, we haven’t got the activation number!
Oh! [LAUGH] Ooopsie.
And if like us you put the tube in the box before you've got your activation code they've kindly put it on packet as well, that’s good

So here we are! Just post it?
Let’s do it!
Post.
[CLUNK]
[LAUGH] Messed up.
That was like, a long time ago.

Oh, OHHHH!
You’re about to discover your ethnicity estimate, and maybe even connect your long-lost relatives
I don’t want to do that.

Okay 77%
Dad you’re 77% Great Britain and Euro- Northwestern European
yep

You’re 12% Ireland and Scotland
Right, now right, this is a problem because I don't know if the family comes from Scotland or Ireland because I always thought it was Scotland but someone told me last year at a funeral that we're all from Ireland and that the name Mossey comes from the word Morrissey.
Spelt badly.

10% Swedish.
10% Swedish!
So... Abba?
That would explain the ABBA!
Ohhh.
And.

You’re 1% Ivory Coast/Ghana.
I’m 1% Ghanaian!
And we have a relative school in Ghana.
Is it called a relative school
Yes we've got a school that we talk to
Your school is twinned with a school in Ghana
Yes
...and I'm one percent... Ghanaian
I don’t think I’m Ivory Coast.

Who’s the guy, the Ghanaian guy?
The Ghanaian guy?
The guy from Ghana.
The guy from Ghana?
Yeah.
[LAUGHS]

How'd you feel about being 10 percent Swedish?
I don't like ABBA.
Hop this is helpful, if you had a DNA test
I'll see you in the next video don't forget to leave a thumbs up or like - smash that like button - very well I appreciate that because my dad's trying to get to a thousand
And we'll see you on the next #TightwadDad podcast thanks.
It's raining... can you feel it's raining.
Let’s go!
The Ghanaian DNA is not good with cold weather.
Can you please help my daddy get 1000 subscribers just click on his face, thanks bye!

AT HOME - FAMILY ON HOLS
- Shoe shop: Trainers for kid
"To cover for the ones that finally fell apart."
JOY 10

WORKING AWAY FROM HOME
- Hotel room booking
"Always anxious that I could do better or cheaper, but can't end up with no room booked."
JOY 10

- Tram fare
JOY 10

- Works canteen: Breakfast
JOY 10

- Sandwich Chain Shop: Sandwich
JOY 10

- Bus fare x2: Trip to the 3rd biggest shopping centre in Europe because I'm bored.
"Bought some pants".
JOY 9

- Clothing chain shopping centre store: Pants x1.
JOY 10

- FREE Drinks can dropped on me from top floor of multi storey car park. It missed.
JOY 10

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Too Tram Comfy #TightwadDad 098


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Monday, 13 May 2019

Too Tram Comfy #TightwadDad 098



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

ME, WORKING AWAY FROM HOME
- Tram fare
"I feel too at home now. Ran for the tram then realised I hadn't bought a ticket. Jumped off the tram. Bought ticket. Jumped back on."
JOY 10

- Works canteen: Breakfast and lunch, salad.
JOY 10

- Express Supermarket: Microwave curry and family size bar of chocolate
"For pudding without the family"
JOY 10


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Airport drop-off dropped #TightwadDad 097


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Sunday, 12 May 2019

Airport drop-off dropped #TightwadDad 097



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Bank fees
"I know they've got to live, but, you know, I've got an idea that even they might work out how to make money from just sitting on our cash without charging fees."
JOY 1

- High Street Ironmongers Chain Store: Memory card
"Because I need to hoard more, electronically"
JOY 8

- B&B Room Booking
JOY 10

WORKING AWAY FROM HOME
- FREE: LSW booted me out of the car on the zebra crossing outside the airport.
"I know I encouraged this, but it was her birthday and I would've happily sprung for the drop-off fee."
JOY 3

- Tram fare
"I can't write this here but I have fallen in love with Manchester's Trams."
JOY 10

- Express Supermarket: Meal to take into work.
JOY 10

- Airport Shop: 1x bottle of water
JOY 10


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Mega spending day with pics #TightwadDad 096


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Saturday, 11 May 2019

Mega spending day with pics #TightwadDad 096




Got the idea for taking pictures of everything we're spending on.
This was a mega spending day.

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Online Airline Site: Flight bookings x2
"I could have done better, booked earlier, had more money saved..."
JOY 8

- High St Chemist: Birthday present
JOY 10

- High St Book Shop: Birthday present
JOY 10

- High St Pound Shop: Phone charger cables x2
"This is a life changer."
JOY 10

- High St Health Food Store: Vitamin B
JOY 10

- High St. Expensive Food Shop: Flowers
"I'll keep the label on. It'll look good."
JOY 10

- Big Chain Supermarket: Milk, plus pointless overcompensating gifts for the kids for being good."
JOY 10

- Big Chain Clothing Outlet: Shirt.
"I never buy shirts."
JOY 10


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Airline not bust yet #TightwadDad 095


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Friday, 10 May 2019

Airline not bust yet #TightwadDad 095



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

AT HOME
- German chain supermarket: 2x bags of mini eggs
"And something else".
JOY 6

ME, WORKING AWAY FROM HOME
- Works canteen: Breakfast
JOY 10

- Tram fare
JOY 10

- Air fare for two weeks time.
"The airline might even still be in business then."
JOY 7

- Tram fare to airport
JOY 10

- Chicken burger chain terminal outlet: Chicken burger meal
JOY 9

- FREE Airport drop-off barriers not taking credit cards, let through without ticket
JOY 10

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Tram seat for my roast chicken #TightwadDad 094


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Thursday, 9 May 2019

Tram seat for my roast chicken #TightwadDad 094



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

ME, WORKING AWAY FROM HOME
- Works canteen: Full English breakfast with veggie sausage, coffee, cooked lunch
JOY 10

- Tram and bus fares x2
"Travel to see a place to live for the rest of my trip"
"Great night out."
JOY 10

- Big supermarket chain: Reduced cooked chicken, salad and multipack chocolate
"It's not a multipack or family size salad.
Sat the chicken on its own tram seat on the way home."
JOY 10

AT HOME (VIA TEXT)
- Pizza Restaurant takeaway pizza: Rest of the family had pizza
"Grandad bought pizza. He wanted spicy beef! He also paid to fill the car up."
JOY 10

- German Chain Supermarket
"All I can remember is milk, fruit, bread and two easter eggs for the kids xxx"
JOY 10


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Shopping Centre Trip #TightwadDad 093


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Wednesday, 8 May 2019

Shopping Centre Trip #TightwadDad 093

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Life cover
"3 different types of Life insurance and cover. But which one to stop?"
JOY 2

WORKING AWAY FROM HOME
- Works canteen: subsidised full English Breakfast
JOY 10

- Massive shopping centre: 2x birthday presents, bottle of water, Food Court meal
JOY 10

- Bus fares x2
JOY 10

- Tram Fare
JOY 10

AT HOME
- Big supermarket chain store: Top-up shop.
JOY 10




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Missed the haircut #TightwadDad 092


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Tuesday, 7 May 2019

Missed the haircut #TightwadDad 092

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

ME, WORKING AWAY FROM HOME
- Big chain supermarket mini express: microwave ready meals x2, family sized bar of chocolate
JOY 10

- Pub meal: artisan burger and chips, drinks x unknown, pub quiz
JOY 10

- Return tram fare
JOY 10

- Works canteen: full subsidised English Breakfast, pad Thai, soya latte
JOY 10

AT HOME
- Haircut
"But I'm not there to fail to notice it."
JOY 10


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Working away from home #TightwadDad 091


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Monday, 6 May 2019

Working away from home #TightwadDad 091



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Life Insurance
"This is the small payment one. I wonder if it'd even pay out."
JOY 2

ME, WORKING AWAY FROM HOME
- Italian Cafe: Full English Breakfast
JOY 10

- Works Canteen: Cooked Thai lunch
JOY 10

- Express Supermarket: Chow Mein
"How can I eat more Asian food"
JOY 10

- Express supermarket: Family size choc bar.
"But I'm not with my family, so..."
JOY 10



Previous post...
Travelling for work #TightwadDad 090


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Sunday, 5 May 2019

Travelling for work #TightwadDad 090



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- German Chain Supermarket: Bits of food for my work travel
JOY 5

- Pound shop: 100ml anti-perspirant "To get through airport security", Storage bags for squashing down clothes with a vacuum cleaner.
"No, guess what, the pound shop vacuum storage bags didn't work."
JOY 3

- Airport Car Parking for my Long-Suffering Wife to drop me off.
"I learned how to score this from Day 001 that started this project."
JOY 9

- Airport Shop: Bottle of Water.
JOY 8

- Airport Coffee Shop "Fantastic view of my tiny plane."
JOY 8

- Train Fare from Airport to City
"It's brilliant to experience other cities' terrible commuting conditions without having to live there."
JOY 9


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Last minute mothers day stuff #TightwadDad 089


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Saturday, 4 May 2019

Last minute mothers day stuff #TightwadDad 089

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Arcading
JOY 4

- Ice cream x3
"It's a bit too much."
JOY 7

- Beach parking
"I can never guess the time we'll be here correctly."
JOY 2

- Big Chain Supermarket: Mother's Day Stuff
"Like the night before Valentines Day, it's full of bewildered men putting random stuff near the entrance into their baskets.
Again, at least it's the night before.
But why aren't the kids here?"
JOY 4


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Newspaper ad con trick #TightwadDad 088


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Friday, 3 May 2019

Newspaper ad con trick #TightwadDad 088



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Big Supermarket Chain supermarket: Eggs, bread and milk for my Dad for when he gets back from holiday.
JOY 10

- Post Office: Signed-For Postage
"For a package Dad ordered online from a newspaper ad which the lady in his bank said is a con. Sending them back signed for to prove they were returned unused and transaction cancelled. I feel like a consumer champion sticking it back to The Man." JOY 10


Previous post...
Global Warming in my supermarket #TightwadDad 087


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Thursday, 2 May 2019

Global Warming in my supermarket #TightwadDad 087

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Big Supermarket In Another Town: Diesel. And Solar Lights.
"I feel like I'm describing Global Warming, right there."
JOY 3

- Online hotel booking for upcoming work trip.
"I can't commit to doing anything tomorrow, let alone 3 days from now."
JOY 6


Previous post...
Emergency doughnut run #TightwadDad 086


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Wednesday, 1 May 2019

Emergency doughnut run #TightwadDad 086



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Big Chain Supermarket: Bread and bits.
JOY 6

- Big Chain Supermarket: After-dinner emergency doughnut run with my daughter.
"They're better than Calpol."
JOY 10

- Online Flights Booking for upcoming work trip
"Why do I hate committing to an exact time in the future. Anything could happen between then and now."
JOY 7


Previous post...
Family size bacon crisps #TightwadDad 085


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Tuesday, 30 April 2019

Monday, 29 April 2019

Hair Gel While He's Got It #TightwadDad 084

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Big Chain Supermarket branch: Doughnuts, printer paper, juice boxes for a school trip, hair gel.
"This is a big moment. Taking my son to choose his first brand of hair gel. Judging by the hair pattern in my family, he won't have it for long so he might as well enjoy styling it."
JOY 10

- Big Chain Supermarket Online Delivery: Everything else.
"I really didn't coordinate this with my Long-Suffering Wife very well, did I."
JOY 3


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Bread and Frozen Fish #TightwadDad 083


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Saturday, 27 April 2019

Can You Make The Earth Move? #TightwadDad 082

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Swimming lessons
"They can still swim."
JOY 9

- Big Supermarket: Pizzas, strawberries, meat, veg
JOY 3

- Garden Centre: Soil.
"That stuff we stand on, for free.
Soil.
Long-Suffering Wife waited for me to put it in the car so she could ask
"Can you make the Earth move?"
Then laughed way too long."
JOY 2


Previous post...
Fence Still Standing #TightwadDad 081


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Friday, 26 April 2019

Fence Still Standing #TightwadDad 081




I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Builder: Second part payment for our fence.
"It's still standing!"
JOY 10

- Poundland: Card for school project.
"Not the right type of card."
JOY 2

- Art Shop: Card for school project.
JOY 9



Previous post...
Our boundaries are back #TightwadDad 080


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Thursday, 25 April 2019

Our boundaries are back #TightwadDad 080

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Pilates
JOY 10

- German supermarket: Bread and fish "Calamari's on offer. I'm stockpiling."
JOY 10

- Builder: first part payment to fix our fence.
"We've got a fence. Our boundaries are back.
This is my legacy for my family.
This area is theirs and it exists now."
JOY 10


Previous post...
Driven by fear #TightwadDad 079


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Wednesday, 24 April 2019

Driven by fear #TightwadDad 079

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- German supermarket - washing up liquid, bin liners, toilet roll, baby corn. Frozen raspberries. bagels tea cakes. Two lots of milk.
"I thought I was getting good value for money but now I've said what I got, I'm not so sure."
JOY 8

- German supermarket: evening chocolate run.
JOY 8

- Mobile phone bill
“I will look into other networks, but am driven by fear to do nothing.
How can you call it “driven” by fear.
Nothing’s moving.
I future-worry that the network I move to will have lousy coverage, a terrible voicemail interface, and the move might lose me the phone number I have had for over 23 years.
Maybe I should change my number anyway.”
JOY 2


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Can't find electric cupboard plastic key #TightwadDad 078


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Tuesday, 23 April 2019

Can't find electric cupboard plastic key #TightwadDad 078

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- German supermarket: Big bag full of stuff. 2 bags of oranges, some apples, bread.
JOY 7

- Gas & Electricity bill
"It's estimated up because I can't be bothered to find the plastic key thing that opens the electric meter.
Maybe I'll leave it estimated up so we buy energy now before the prices go up again."
JOY 3



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Pricey supermarket top up #TightwadDad 077


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Monday, 22 April 2019

Sunday, 21 April 2019

Biscuits ingredients #TightwadDad 076



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Big supermarket chain top-up shop: Some meat and ingredients for the kid’s cookery lesson tomorrow.
“I like that this means biscuits.”
JOY 9


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What if we spend too much on fountain pens #TightwadDad 075


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Saturday, 20 April 2019

What if we spend too much on fountain pens #TightwadDad 075

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Big supermarket top-up shop: bread and milk.
"What if we were to you know just stop eating bread and milk?"
JOY 6

- Swimming Lessons.
JOY 9

- Stationery shop in high street: Fountain Pen.
"Purely to stop them from buying something they’ll regret and break 10 minutes later. Our spending on fountain pens feels like it's higher than most people.
That feels like that should make us better people.
But somehow it doesn’t."
JOY 10


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Getting away from our smartphones #TightwadDad 074


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Friday, 19 April 2019

Getting away from our smartphones #TightwadDad 074



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Martial Arts monthly fee.
“There has to be something cool in a month where martial arts is one of your biggest outgoings.”
JOY 10

- Water company direct debit.
“Now my kid is thinking up more inventive ways to use less water, than washing less.”
JOY 1

- Coffee with my wife in an independent coffee shop.
"We did it to get away from our smartphones for an hour.
Then spent an hour talking about stuff we've seen on our smartphones."
JOY 9


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Broadband company going through our stuff #TightwadDad 073


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Thursday, 18 April 2019

Broadband company going through our stuff #TightwadDad 073

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Broadband bill.
“Think we’re getting our money’s worth this month.
Hate it when they tell us how much we’re using though, even though it doesn’t affect the bill.
It’s like they’re going through our stuff.
When really, it’s our stuff going through them.”
JOY 6

- German supermarket chain top-up shop.
“I can’t even bring myself to write out some of the things we bought again.”
JOY 8

- Pilates.
JOY 10

- Big supermarket chain top-up shop: Including trying to stop the kids buying national charity day plastic junk so the supermarket chain can advertise itself on the national charity day and losing out to “But it’s for charity.”
“National charity day plastic junk didn’t even make it as far as the car park.”
JOY 1


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Fasting for kids #TightwadDad 072


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Wednesday, 17 April 2019

Fasting for kids #TightwadDad 072



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Mobile phone bill
“Really will look into moving networks.”
JOY 1

- Coffee shop chain: Decaf coconut latte.
“Took it completely for granted.”
JOY 6

- German supermarket chain: Bread x2
“Buy one get another slightly less offer.”
JOY 9

- Burger chain restaurant meal for the kids.
“It felt really good for us, the adults, not to have one.
That’s willpower.

And one of the kids talked about trying out fasting.
They really want to do it.

I think they were giddy on a burger-and-fries buzz.

But I really want to have a go at that.
Can you start a fast when you’re not on a burger-and-fries buzz?
I’ll have to find the right moment.”
JOY 9


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Companies goalhanging our charity money #TightwadDad 071


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Tuesday, 16 April 2019

Companies goalhanging our charity money #TightwadDad 071



This is happening more and more, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

You finish a transaction with a company.
You're about to pay.
Our business together is done.

And then they ask you that question.
"Would you like to donate something to charity?"

Yes. Of course the answer is yes.

But... do I have to do it right now?

What's bugging me about companies rattling the collection tin at the checkout or on the payment page...

...is that they then get all the glory from my 5 pence.

They won't mention me when they present the novelty cheque.

They will completely take the credit for my cash.

I'm the one who donated.
Not them.

And now they won't shut up about it.

We haven't even finished our deal yet.

Are they trying to distract me?

Why can't they ask me after I've bought their thing?

This is too much to take in.

So I don't tick the box.

And now suddenly I'm the bad guy.

And it's not even their 5p.


I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Big Supermarket top-up shop:
“I don’t know. I got rolls and eggs. It was 15 quid and I can’t even remember what I got.”
JOY 7


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Criminals don't pay for the criminal checks #TightwadDad 070


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Monday, 15 April 2019

Criminals don't pay for the criminal checks #TightwadDad 070



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- DBS (criminal record) check for a volunteer position.
“Funny how the criminals don’t pay for this service...
but everyone who’s innocent and clean, does.
Almost like some kind of sign of how society works.”
JOY 8

- German Supermarket Chain top-up shop: Fish, milk, bread.
“It feels like a Biblical shop.”
JOY 7


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What does it take to move banks #TightwadDad 069


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Sunday, 14 April 2019

What does it take to move banks #TightwadDad 069



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Banking fees.
“I don’t know what it’s going to take to get me to move banks.”
JOY 1

- German supermarket chain top-up shop: Meat, bread, own-brand butter faking a famous brand butter
JOY 7

BIRTHDAY TRIP!
- Pizza chain in a massive shopping centre in another city.
“Spent 10 minutes trying to work out the combination of offers which worked best in our favour. Felt so good about this that we splashed out on not sharing one unlimited drink.”
JOY 9

+ Parking: FREE.
“Tried out a theory that I could negotiate my ticket not working at the barrier, but ended up driving straight through unchecked. Win!”
JOY 10

- Big supermarket chain petrol station: Diesel.
“Lovely chat with the booth woman about her second massive full colour arm tattoo that was flaking all over the till.
Used a voucher which saved us about half the cash we spent on the extra drink at lunch.”
JOY 9


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Kids party stuff #TightwadDad 068


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Saturday, 13 April 2019

Kids party stuff #TightwadDad 068



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- German supermarket: Stuff for kid's party (pineapple, bananas, melon, popcorn) cereal, and maple syrup x2 (there's an offer on)
JOY 6


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Not helping with the goldfish food #TightwadDad 067


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Friday, 12 April 2019

Not helping with the goldfish food #TightwadDad 067



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Online Supermarket Delivery: Incl. birthday cake ingredients and goldfish food.
"Brazened out standing there while the delivery driver carried the crates to the kitchen.
Acting like someone from Downton Abbey.
Didn't enjoy it though."
JOY 6


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Bus countdown better than jet packs #TightwadDad 066


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Thursday, 11 April 2019

Bus countdown better than jet packs #TightwadDad 066



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Train ticket
"Paid extra to travel in 45 minutes earlier for a meeting that was cancelled because the train company, Department for Transport and person I was meeting hate me."
JOY 4

- Bus fares x2
"My phone counts down when they'll arrive. This is better than jet packs and hoverboards."
JOY 9

- London Underground fares x2
"I love any place where my phone doesn't work."
JOY 9

- Pint of beer, pint of coke and a tray of chips.
"Playing the game, "Which will end my life first.""
JOY 9


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66 Days To Form A Habit #TightwadDad 065


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Wednesday, 10 April 2019

66 Days To Form A Habit #TightwadDad 065



This is Day 65 of publishing what we are spending every day.
They say that it takes 66 days of doing something before it forms a habit.
I'm not sure I want to go through with forming this as a habit.
It's hard enough collaborating with my Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) to share what we're spending.

What's funny is that when I spend £1.50 on a bus fare, that then becomes a line here.
Charles Dickens was paid a penny per word published.
Me?
I am paying out £1.50 per line published.
That's progress.
That's how things have changed.

I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Online Store: Birthday presents.
"How nice we can celebrate with the gift of stuff."
JOY 8

- Martial Arts grading fee for Orange Belt.
"We'll have to do it now."
JOY 10


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Me And The Mud Hut And The Family #TightwadDad 064


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Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Me And The Mud Hut And The Family #TightwadDad 064



We’ve got enough to live on right now.
You know how I know?
Because we’re not living in a refugee emergency tent or a mud hut.

But if I lived in a mud hut, I’d only end up wanting a bigger mud hut.
And more mud.
And moaning about the amount of dirty well water going into the mud.

“How can I get a bigger mud hut?!
Is this a comment on me and my worth as a resourceful provider?”

And we’d be competing with next door for dirty well water containers.
And they’d just be mocking me for my Third World Problems.


I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- School Lunch for kid.
"The Government makes us send our kids to school or £1000 fine... but it doesn't feed them."
JOY 3


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Life Insurance So My Family Can Carry On Spending #TightwadDad 063


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Monday, 8 April 2019

Life Insurance So My Family Can Carry On Spending #TightwadDad 063



I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...

- Life insurance.
“In the event of my death, my family can carry on spending.”
JOY 7

- Coffee Shop Chain Coffee Shop: Decaf coconut latte.
“I was grumpy because they’ve gone back to charging my collapsible reusable bucket (LINK) as ‘large’.
Right up until an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair sat opposite me.

Obviously, he sat opposite.
It’s not like he could cartwheel.

He then started the loudest phonecall that’s ever hit my ears about
“REMOVING THE BLOCK ON MY ANSWERPHONE.”

The mobile phone company call centre worker spoke excellent English, but the script he was following was complete gibberish.
Which meant they fell into this jawdropping loop that wouldn’t stop.

“I NEED YOU TO REMOVE THE BLOCK ON MY ANSWERPHONE.
Okay can I take you through security please?
NO, CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE OFF THE BLOCK ON - MY - ANSWERPHONE.
Okay but first I need to take you through security please.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU.
I NEED YOU TO REMOVE THE BLOCK ON MY PHONE MESSAGES.
Okay but we need to complete security please.
CAN YOU DO IT?
I’M NOT GETTING MY ANSWERPHONE.
I NEED YOU TO REMOVE THE BLOCK.
Right but I need you to complete some security questions first.

By this point, the entire coffee shop stopped what they were doing.
(Which wasn’t that much, but we were all rapt.)

OKAY.
So first, I’m going to need the last 4 digits of the card which you pay with.
THE LAST 4 DIGITS?
I HAVEN’T GOT THAT CARD WITH ME.

We were all now - every last person in that coffee shop - completely rooting for the elderly gentleman in the wheelchair.
A woman stepped forward and offered to act as translator between the age-experienced gentleman and the excellent English-as-a-mastered-second-language call centre worker to broker a break to the deadlock.

I get back from the toilet, and the woman’s reading digits from a bank card down his phone.
“6 - 6 - 3 - 1. Thank you.
No... I’m not related. I’m just a woman in the coffee shop trying to help.

She passes the phone back to the Elderly Gentleman.
“You need to say the numbers.
SIX. SIX. THREE. ONE.”

They say that community has broken down.
But from here, for about 10 minutes, it’s looking pretty strong.

It looks like we are pretty united - call-centre worker included - united against the forces keeping us apart.

All of us have been in that elderly gentleman’s wheelchair.

Maybe the way to bring things round to how they could be, is to repeatedly shout
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU.

If we all did that, the next time we want

If absolutely all of us in the world did that the next time we need something fixed...
Can you imagine what we could achieve?

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU.”
JOY 9

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WHAT IS A POMELO? #TightwadDad 062


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