Wednesday, 20 February 2019

Hardest thing sharing spending daily #teamTIGHTWAD 016


(Picture: "The Hazards of Contactless", by me.)

I thought it would be easy, to share what we are spending for a month.
Not the sharing, that’s hard.
Just the pulling together the list of what we’ve spent.

But, turns out that’s really hard too.
Our money goes out in cash, cards, contactless and direct debits.
Like the world ripping us off from all angles.

So there is a bit of admin to pull these figures together.
The hardest of all though is sharing them with my Long-Suffering Wife.
Asking and telling.

Both of us would rather not be doing that.
But we know we’ve got to.
Stupid experiment.

We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- Mid-size supermarket shop (bread, pasta, some tins, cereal, sauces)
(4 bags-for-life full)


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Dumbest thing we bought for baby #teamTIGHTWAD 015


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Tuesday, 19 February 2019

Dumbest thing we bought for baby #teamTIGHTWAD 015



Families. What is the most ridiculous thing you bought for your child?
Mine was a pram parasol from a baby things chain store.

A really really expensive parasol - little umbrella - that you screw onto the side of a pram.
To protect the baby from the sun.

It was a crime that we didn’t have one on our pram.
And we had to buy it right there and then.
Because it was in front of us in the shop.
And it was sunny.

And we were going to damage our first born by allowing sunlight to fall upon it.

Why had I bought a pram so CHEAP that didn’t even have a parasol on it?

Well, turns out we hadn’t factored in a few things.

1
We had no sleep. This affects all of our spending decisions.
New parents look rude and arrogant - with their self- important swagger taking up the whole pavement.
“LOOK WHAT WE DID 14 MONTHS AGO.”
But it’s pure lack of sleep.
The reality is they’re barely standing up straight, let alone “Making decisions.”
The only decision you make with a baby is to keep your eyes open.

2
This thing - this parasol - was a piece of crap.
It had a flexible stem, like the microphone in a Drive-Thru McDonalds.
And the idea is that it’s totally adjustable.
aka Flimsy.

3
And this was the biggest.
What we, hadn’t factored in was that when you are driving a pram...
THE ANGLE OF THE SUN DOESN’T STAY THE SAME WHEN YOU ARE WALKING AROUND.
So the parasol will always, always, always be in the wrong position.

Bend it, angle it, lower it, there’s no point.
You’ll walk into a position where the shade from the parasol has to be moved.
It’s basic physics.

Basic physics to anyone who’s awake.
But we got shaken down.

Rinsed because we were WEAK.

They’re still selling it.
Under their “Essentials” range.
That’s the word you see when you haven’t had any sleep.
“Essentials”
(to which then you add, in your own head,
“FOR MY BABY TO SURVIVE AND GET MY DNA INTO THE NEXT GENERATION.”)

So that was our worst baby purchase.
That I still remember now.
What’s yours?

We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- Girls football training session.
- Decaf coconut latte in a chain coffee shop.
- Choi Kwang Do martial arts monthly fee.
- Water bill.
- Council Tax.

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Previous post... They don’t want you as CEO of your family. #teamTIGHTWAD 014

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Monday, 18 February 2019

They don’t want you as CEO of your family. #teamTIGHTWAD 014



I told a friend yesterday about the #TightwadDad project and in three seconds flat she spotted my problem.

FRIEND: But you’re trying to not be a Tightwad Dad.
ME: Yeah.
FRIEND: So why are you calling it Tightwad Dad?

ME: I think I like the title. It’s provocative.
And it’s how I feel when I think we should be spending our money more mindfully.

FRIEND: So shouldn’t it be something like #MindfulSpending?

ME: Oh. I like that too. But I’m not a mindful spender.
I think, I think I might be a Tightwad Dad.

FRIEND: So it’s about teaching your kids to save money?

ME: Yes. No, I mean that would be nice.
But that’s not why I’m doing this.

There’s a culture that means it’s normal to not be with your family to earn the money that we all go and spend so that you’ve got to go away from them again to carry on being able to do that.
What’s the point?
And it’s not about Dads either.
We’re all involved in this.
You know it’s like I’m the CEO of our family...

FRIEND LAUGHS IN MY FACE.

FRIEND: You’re not the CEO.

ME: Yeah, I am.
But my Long-Suffering Wife is Chairman of the Board.
And we’re running at a loss.
I want it to start a campaign.
I’d call it Families Against Money.

FRIEND: And what is the mission?
What change are you trying to make?

ME: I want to make it okay for anyone to be a Tightwad Dad.

FRIEND: (TRYING TO HELP) So it’s one man’s fight to single-handedly resist the pressures of the Western Industrial Consumerist complex.

ME: I want to help families enjoy the world that’s ripping us off by embracing our inner Tightwad Dad.

We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- One ream of office paper.
- Organic semi-skimmed milk.
(I'm fed up of glossing over these constant top ups as "Supermarket").
- Coffee and a Fat Coke in our local independent coffee shop with my son.
(We never spend this much time together usually).
- Mobile phone bill.
- Broadband bill.


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LONDON TRIP: JOY VS MONEY #TightwadDad 013


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Sunday, 17 February 2019

LONDON TRIP: JOY VS MONEY #teamTIGHTWAD 013



We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- German supermarket chain supermarket shop.
Because we can’t think of anything better to do.

I think this might be the way to go forward.
Linking the actual JOY to the spending.

LONDON TRIP: JOY VS MONEY #TightwadDad VLOG 002 | Neil Mossey


[LOUD MUSIC] Hello, I'm Neil Mossey I'm from #TightwadDad.
This is gonna be a weird video.
I've come to London today.
I'm shooting this on my phone, I don't even know if it's in focus.
I'm going to log what I'm spending today - so my family gets to see what I do.
[LOUD MUSIC] So the first thing I spent on, was this.
My train ticket.
£23.30.
I guess I can put that up on the screen, the amount of JOY it brought me?
Probably 9.
Cuz look it brought me here.
[LOUD MUSIC] It's a bleak day in London, my toe is still bust, let's have a look.
I'm just hobbling around town with this.
I've borrowed a sock from my Long-Suffering Wife.
The outer sock is fluffy - white stripey one.
But where I'm going next is somewhere very special.
[LOUD MUSIC] Yep it's one of these - they've got some kind of computer problem, so the restaurant's nice and empty.
I know my son will be really jealous but honestly, the JOY was about 5.
Gonna find somewhere else to sit now, for one hour.
[LOUD MUSIC] So I'm going to a quiet area now, I don't
know if I'm going to be able to film.
I'll maybe sneak a shot.
"Doors opening" [SILENCE - PEN SCRATCHING]
[LOUD MUSIC] Okay so that was free because I've already paid and the JOY is about 10 - that was really nice.
Now I'm gonna cross the river again... one more time.
I've got to be in Tottenham Court Road by 3:00 for a meeting.
[LOUD MUSIC] Time for a bus now because I can't walk up there.
I don't know how much this is gonna cost.
[LOUD MUSIC] So there it goes.
TEN.
The JOY there was 10.
I've got 5 minutes to spare so I timed that really well.
[QUIET TAXI STREET SOUNDS] So the meeting went well, it's now half four.
There's a taxi protest here.
It's really eerie, it's so quiet!
Now I'm going over to finish my evening.
[LOUD MUSIC] So I'm here with my friend Rob.
We're gonna have food!
[LOUD MUSIC] So the cost was high, but the JOY was 11.
It was gorgeous.
But, if we take the total and add all the JOY up.
Divide the JOY so I get an average JOY - the figure comes out at THIS.
£42.79 JOY 9.
I'm trying.


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Should we spend less money on WHAT? #TightwadDad 012


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Saturday, 16 February 2019

Should we spend less money on WHAT? #teamTIGHTWAD 012



We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...
- Swimming lesson.
- Tap dancing lessons for the month.
- Choi Kwang Do martial arts belt grading fee x2 to enter for Gold Belt Senior.
- Ebay: Toy yellow bus for my nephew (He's obsessed with buses, like I was at his age. So I like encouraging this.)


Should we spend less money on WHAT? #TightwadDad Podcast with Neil and Joe 004



Red red red red red red red.
So welcome to episode 4 of the TightwadDad Podcast with me, Neil, and Joe.
And we're here in the happy hut and it's freezing, isn't it!
Yeah, it's cold.
It's pretty cold, you've got a cold.
I don't like this red I'm surrounded in it.
You don't like the colour red?
They might think that I love the colour red just because my headphones are red.
The covers are red here, and the sofas are red. I think blue’s my favorite colour.
Which is what you're wearing.
Yes I think it cheers up the Happy Hut, so I'm sorry if--
I think of it as blood and death.
I've got a question, but I've left it on the computer so I'm gonna have to - do you wanna just talk while...
In episode 3, “Earning money on YouTube how to” - so you could try and get a thousand subscribers - that's what Dad says.
Yeah we're on 320 at the moment, so we've got another 680 - we've got to do that 2 more times to get close to a 1000.
I remember, the question I should've asked last time I got it wrong
“What should we be spending less money on?”
Food.
Food?
We do spend a lot of money on food.
I think we should buy stuff that would last longer for cheaper.
Do you think we should eat less?
Wouldn't you be really hungry?
We would, we would.
I'm one very hungry child.
And I'm one hungry dad as well so that's the problem, but we should spend less money in the supermarket.
And buy more stuff for less money.
No. It'd be like buy as least as possible for at least amount of money so find a better
bread. You use a lot of bread.
I do.
You do.
Okay, so if we had less bread and spend the money on other stuff?
Dad?
And then we can eat the same--
I just wondered this. You’re kind of obsessed with yellow.
Your hut is kind of yellow--
It is.
Your paper that you write on is yellow.
It is.
And then your bread is yellow.
I do like yellow.
But I thought you love blue as well.
Do you know what, the one I like the most is pinkl
I got pink phone. I've got pink trainers
Oh yeah! (Sniggers) Pink phone.
And I dyed my Choi Kwang Do dobok, I've put it in the washed with the red jacket and it came out pink.
[laughs]


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Do I spend too much money? #TightwadDad 011


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Friday, 15 February 2019

Do I spend too much money? #teamTIGHTWAD 011



We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- German supermarket chain supermarket shop


Do I spend too much money? #TightwadDad Podcast with Neil and Joe 003



Okay it's episode 3 of tightwad dad podcast.
With me Neil and Joe.
So hi thanks for joining us - Joe you were just saying these podcasts are very short.
Yes.
But Mummy read that micro-podcasts are gonna be the thing, so maybe this is a good thing.
Yeah.
And I did want to mention - you didn't want to talk about it.
Sorry, I've got your headphone lead wrapped round.
I've got a cold.
You've got a cold, so that's why you sound a bit...
Runny.
I can't remember what my next question was.
Do you want to blow your nose while I look up the next question?

Oh yeah, I know the question: do you think I spend too much money?
I think you spend a decent amount money Just the right amount?

Yeah not too much not too less.
If I feel like we haven't got enough money, it's either because I'm not earning enough. Or because we're spending too much.

Or maybe you should not spend anything and be proud of what you've already got
That's a good idea.
Cos some people don't have anything.

That's a really really good idea.
Oh the making money thing in Episode two I whispered:
“Looking under the... and another way I know this would look weird but I have earned about £50 by doing this altogether, by looking under vending machines or coin machines....
Anything that would involve coins which have a gap underneath they are coins like Coinstars, look under claw machines - especially in arcades you get quite a bit.
Don't you remember?
No!
Ugh, bad memory.
It's cause I'm getting old.
What I thought you were gonna say...
You're not old...
...was looking under sofa cushions.
Oh yeah, in the cracks because when like heavy people sit down if they've got a lot of change in their pocket it would just fall out into the cracks.
I found - remember in that Southsea place I found like £2.50 in different couches or
sofas.
So that's the end of - is this episode 3?
Yes
Thanks for watching.
Can't remember...
You've got a bad memory...
If you've got this far into the video we'd love it if you gave us a thumbs up - if you
got this far.
And make sure you subscribe because I think it would be nice.
It'd really help us.
Because when we hit 1000 subscribers, we start getting money from YouTube.
Hey, that could be our next podcast.
What, how to get money from YouTube?
Yeah.
Okay.
Make thousand gaming channels... I think I've said too much


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The Day We Became #teamTIGHTWAD #TightwadDad 010


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Thursday, 14 February 2019

The Day We Became #teamTIGHTWAD #TightwadDad 010



I am here completely by choice.
Showing up every day to share what we're spending, for a month.

But that fear is creeping in again.

Are the Pounds my family spends even mine to record and share with the world?

Am I nicking their story?

I asked them, but they want to know why am I doing this?

What change am I hoping to make?

What if the system prefers us to keep our boring spending quiet.

While making us feel inadequate about everyone else's conspicuous spending.

What if we're not meant to be talking about this.

What if we're meant to look like we're keeping up.

We're not keeping up.

The change I want to make is to speak up.

It's a broken game that's skewed against families anyway.

Because providing for your family means spending time away from your family.
Whether you're earning loads, or not much.

I want to make my family happy with the least amount of money possible.

What if I were to find a way to make money with my family?
I don't know how.
But I will find a way.
Because we're only here for so long.

I'll have to push the kids for some better ideas.

I'm going to enforce Family Making Money Ideas Brainstorm Friday.

And first on the agenda is:
“Can we come up with a better name for Family Making Money Ideas Brainstorm Friday...”

We will become #teamTIGHTWAD.

We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- Pilates.
- Decaf soya latte.
- Missing postage letter fee & stamps.


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I hit an unexpected wall #TightwadDad 009


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Wednesday, 13 February 2019

I hit an unexpected wall #TightwadDad 009



Okay, I just hit an unexpected wall.
I don’t mind sharing my family’s figures.
It’s something I’ve not seen anyone else do, and I like the idea of the experiment.

But it turns out that there are money figures that we can’t really share.
Like the ones where it would break the privacy of the people we’re paying.

I thought it would be easy to just put a “£??” in the totals, then at least you get to see what we’re spending on.

That got me thinking though.
Should I be sharing the actual amounts anyway?

I don’t need you judging and comparing yourself to me.
Because that’s what these figures are meant to do.

That’s why this whole system came about.
So we can measure ourselves against each other.

I think the experiment will be more interesting if I take away the figures.

Then it’s all about the stuff that we spend the money on.
Not the amounts.

So this is the last time I’ll include figures.

I am a Tightwad Dad, and this day my family enjoyed spending on:

- Free coffee shop loyalty app coffee.
- £14 birthday presents x7 for the son.
- £1.29 Bread from German Supermarket Chain supermarket.

Total:
£15.29


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Why sharing what we’re spending for a month is a terrible terrible idea #TightwadDad 008


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Tuesday, 12 February 2019

Why sharing what we’re spending for a month is a terrible terrible idea #TightwadDad 008



12 Reasons sharing what we are spending for a month is a terrible terrible idea.

1 It might come out wrong.

2 I will be judged.

3 My family will be judged.

4 I might share some details that I can't take back if I wanted to.

5 It will invite criticism. Of my writing, my ideas and the very way I live my life.

6 I might not have much to say about it.

7 If I keep doing this, I might see that it's all rubbish.

8 My family might be attacked because of what I'm publishing.

9 None of this might happen and it'll just come off as pretentious self-regarding navel-gazing nonsense.

10 I'm scared now I've started this, I might suddenly stop.

11 It might not go anywhere.

12 While I'm doing this, I'm not doing the thing that might lead to the thing where I earn more money for my family.

But.

1 I'm spending time looking at what we're spending, however it comes out.

2 I will be judged by people who aren't sharing what they are spending.

3 My family will be judged by people who aren't sharing what they are spending.

4 It's just an experiment, and I could lie if I wanted to.

5 I will be criticised by people who are busy calling out and finger pointing like they've done nothing wrong in their life.

6 I will explore what I'm trying to change.

7 If I keep doing this, I will get better.

8 My family and I will learn about what makes us happy.

9 This is pretentious self-regarding navel-gazing nonsense, that's what I like about it.

10 I've got to keep going till the end of the month.

11 I want to figure out how to change our attitudes to spending, to make us happy.

12 This might lead to new ideas for my family earning what we need.


I am a Tightwad Dad, and this day my family enjoyed spending on:

- £1.80 Hospital car parking fee.
(My Dad told me he saw on the news that 20% goes to the hospital).
- £41.79 Medium supermarket shop.
(Popped in to buy our daughter a new coat, and ended up with a swimming costume, reduced xmas things for next year and some doughnuts)

Total:
£43.59


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Why am I sharing our spending for a month really? #TightwadDad 007


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Monday, 11 February 2019

Why am I sharing our spending for a month really? #TightwadDad 007



People would rather talk about what goes on in their bedrooms, than what goes on in their bank accounts.

They would reveal the most intimate places in their lives before how much money they make, or how much they spend.

What change am I hoping to make by sharing what we’re spending?

I’m embarrassed to say this but a friend asked me today if #TightwadDad is to help me spend less.

“No!” I said.
“The aim of #TightwadDad is to be more mindful about our spending, and more grateful for the money we spend.
If anything, it might mean we spend more on experiences than things.”

Secretly though, that’s total balls.

I think deep down, holding back money and helping other families feel good about holding back money might be why I’m doing this.

So I have to put that thought out in public too.
To help me be a Happy Tightwad Dad.

I told her that another friend of mine pulls in lots of money and says sorry when they moan to me about their family’s spending.
I told them not to apologise.
The urge to be a Tightwad Dad, I think, isn't just for men.
And it's for all levels of income and spending.

It’s not about the money itself.
It’s about how we handle the money.

So then she told me a story about a recovering paraplegic returning to exactly the same levels of happiness/unhappiness within 2 years of the accident.
(I’m so arrogant - I think it was to make me feel better about my broken toe.)

She actually threw in a new curveball for me to think about with #TightwadDad.

Not only are our levels of income and spending completely movable to feel the same way... but the levels of happiness we’re all reaching for are completely movable too.

I am a Tightwad Dad, and this day my family enjoyed spending on:

+ Free coffee with the coffee shop loyalty app.
Even better, loyalty app machine down so they gave it for free without the app docking my voucher.
(Good job, because I'd loaded up on a stupid £3.95 decaf coconut milk latte with gingerbread syrup).
- £5.50 Bank account fee.

Total:
£5.50

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My broken toe is getting me down. #TightwadDad 006


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