Monday, 18 March 2019

TightwadDad Tip Always ask How Are You #TightwadDad 042



TIGHTWAD DAD TIP:
Always always ask anyone serving you - at a counter or on the phone -
“How are you.”

They will have a script and probably already asked “What can I get you?”
Ignore it.

Make the very first thing you say:
“How are you?”

They will always react in an odd way.
At first.
Don’t worry about this.

They’ll even sometimes be openly suspicious - almost hostile - and give you a tone and body language of “What are you up to?”
With a reply like “I’m... fiiiiine?”

I swear I’ve had monthly tariffs lowered and bigger portions of fries with extra meatballs just from asking “How are you.”

That’s not why I do it.
But they do.

I’ve always, always felt better to give them that moment to reset.

And give them some headspace to check themselves and think for a moment
“How am I?”

Back to the tricky part.
When THEY ask back “How are you”.
What’s your best answer?

Every particle of my body is begging me not to answer truthfully or go into my life history.

One answer is to say something ludicrous.
Outrageous.
Something that’s funny and dumb.

“Unbreakable” and “Unstoppable” always gets a laugh.
Because people expect you to just mumble “I’m... fiiiiine?”

But what are the best replies to How Are You?


I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Home Insurance Cover.
“Managed to find somewhere lower.”
JOY 8

- Carpet ruined by blue slime silly putty/goo/slime won at the arcade on the birthday trip.
“And this isn’t covered by the insurance.”
JOY 1

- Laptop screen broken.
“And neither is this. Plus the charger is in transit.”
JOY 1


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The supermarket short sold us some cheese. #TightwadDad 041


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Sunday, 17 March 2019

The supermarket short sold us some cheese. #TightwadDad 041



I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- German Supermarket top-up shop: Bread, fruit, milk, batteries and a remote control lightbulb.
"It looks capricious but it's the only way we can get a light on by the front door."
JOY 8

- Bigger Supermarket medium shop: Ingredients for kid’s cookery lesson tomorrow.
"LSW: The cheese is 2 grams under the weight on the packet.
It’s 2 grams less than we need.

ME: That's outrageous.

LSW: I think it's our scales.

ME: No! I reckon it's deliberate.

LSW: It's probably our scales.

ME: I believe it. They're going 2 grams under on every block of cheese they sell.

LSW: It's our scales.

ME: We could start a class action and sue the supermarket.

LSW: It's definitely our scales.
Plus you just ate the evidence."
JOY 5

- Online shop: Computer charger lead.
JOY 2


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My dodgy swimming certificate #TightwadDad 040


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Saturday, 16 March 2019

My dodgy swimming certificate #TightwadDad 040



I was clearing out the loft.
But I can’t let this go.

I found my 10 yards swimming certificate.

And where it should be signed by the Mayor of Camden... someone else has signed it with a PP.

What I love about this precious document is that Camden Council was so efficient in September 1977.
So correct in its administration.
That it could not trouble the Mayor to pre-sign a load of certificates.

Or, I don’t know, fake a load of signatures that looked like it came from The Mayor.

No.

Each certificate had to be signed at the appropriate time, or not at all.

It feels like I have unfinished business.

I don’t know where this leaves my documentation in swimming to 10 yards.

But if the current Mayor of Camden would like to watch me swim 10 yards, I would be very grateful if they could witness it and endorse the necessary paperwork.

Thank you.


I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Swimming lessons.
“Still paid, even though we cancelled.”
JOY 1



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Train tickets in the UK are hard #TightwadDad 039


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Friday, 15 March 2019

Train tickets in the UK are hard #TightwadDad 039




I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Train Tickets x2
“Peak time travel.
So had to do the usual maths to work out that buying a single then a return separately with a railcard is still cheaper than just getting a return because the train company and Department For Transport hates me.”
JOY 2

- Supermarket Chain Little Store: Sandwich
JOY 6

- Nice Supermarket Shop Top-up: Milk and chocolate milkshake powder.
"It would've been higher because it was in an expensive supermarket, but I was with the kids."
JOY 7


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My measuring joy is wrong #TightwadDad 038


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Thursday, 14 March 2019

My measuring joy is wrong #TightwadDad 038



I’m having a row with my Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) about how we’re measuring JOY.

LSW wants to know how the scores are fixed.

Giving a Joy of 10 for filling up with diesel, she says, is making a mockery of the measurements.

“What if something comes up that actually deserves a joy of ten?!”

But, for me, the scores always have to come down to how we feel.

In this case, how I feel about the fuel.

It’s a gut score - not calibrated on anything - but how you feel right now.

My wife says this is utter nonsense.

She wants to gather data and evidence to support a situation.

Whereas I just guess it, from my own gut.

I have a big gut feeling.

I think my wife agrees.

I think that’s good.

And hope this helps guide you measuring the JOY of spending in your own life.


I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Bank account fee.
“Why zero?
You want the bank account for free?”
JOY 0

- Charity shop: Coat, and birthday gift
"It's a really nice coat."
JOY 9

- German supermarket chain top-up: Bread, sweet chili sauce, ham, yoghurts.
"Bumped into neighbour.”
JOY 7

- Online Shop: Fountain Pen ink for my child.
“But it's 2019.”
JOY 2


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Sold an old car manual on Ebay #TightwadDad 037


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Wednesday, 13 March 2019

Sold an old car manual on Ebay #TightwadDad 037



I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Free decaf coconut latte (on gift voucher)
"Because it's free.
But also had a good working session and a little breakthrough about why I am doing this.”
JOY 10

+ Sold an old car manual on Ebay!
“Getting rid of something.
And getting money.
Though one mark off for taking so long”.
JOY 9

- Postage of eBay package.
“Self-service Post Office machines.
I don’t feel like I’m helping myself by getting better at using them.”
JOY 1


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Metal strip comes off my toe. #TightwadDad 036


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Tuesday, 12 March 2019

Metal strip comes off my toe. #TightwadDad 036



Today is the day the metal splint comes off my broken toe!

Is it a splint? Or a stent?

I don’t care. I can feel my sock again.

My Long-Suffering Wife (LSW) is hinting loudly to wash it, but I won’t.

I’ve got more important things to do.

Like staring at my foot and touching it.

Plus my son begged me to give him the metal splint.
(It’s splint. He looked it up.)

Anyway, this is a long way of saying that today would be the perfect day to stop sharing online what we’re spending.

I could look back at what I’ve learned during my injury.

Spend some time reflecting on how we feel about money.

How we’ve come closer together as a family from talking about it.
Maybe it’s just time to end this now.


I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Decaf coconut latte coffee in a coffee shop chain shop.
JOY 5

- Hot chocolates in local independent coffee shop x2.
"Would be a 10 but it was with one dirty spoon."
JOY 9

- Hospital Car Park.
“The splint was taken off.”
JOY 10

- Diesel.
"I am a terrible person killing the planet.
And I love filling up from a more expensive pump, that’s nearer to home."
JOY 7

- Expensive supermarket chain mini petrol station branch: Thai box for birthday meal.
“Though these birthday spends are mounting up.”
JOY 10

- Big supermarket, little top-up shop: Bread, eggs, birthday doughnuts.
“I feel like I'm justifying the doughnuts.
I am.
They are birthday doughnuts.”
JOY 4
"Because the kids were running around."

- FREE metal splint for my son.
“I’m going to bend it and put it on my shelf.”


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Scores of joy for everything we spend. #TightwadDad 035


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Monday, 11 March 2019

Scores of joy for everything we spend. #TightwadDad 035




I’m writing this in delay, and the first ‘share’ goes up publicly online tomorrow.

Trying to explain this timeline hurts my brain.

I’m nervous, but we’re well over the month of cataloguing what we’re spending.

Except now, we’re giving a score of happiness on each spend.

It’s been a while creeping it in now, since I made that video recording everything I spent on a working day in London.

But this is the first day of measuring the joy of each one properly.

And it’s good.
It feels more useful.

It feels better logging the joy, instead of the cash spent.
What’s wrong with me?

I’m getting more mindful about the mindless spending

Tomorrow though. That’s a very special day...


I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Life insurance.
“Still haven’t checked what ghastly events this covers.”
JOY 1

- Birthday present for a friend.
"I liked the product. But it wasn't for me."
JOY 7



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I want a fluorescent yellow hat #TightwadDad 034


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Sunday, 10 March 2019

I want a fluorescent yellow hat #TightwadDad 034



My Long-Suffering Wife made the unfortunate mistake of asking me what I’m thinking.

Of course, we hold back in these situations.
Because she's just checking she knows what’s in there anyway.

But I went for it:
“This is actually what’s going on in my head.

Our town council is so poor, the private company bin men come over from another county town 20 miles away and empty our beautiful but bloated streets in one concerted hit.

Our bin men are brilliant.
Even though they’re not ‘our’ bin men.

And I know that should be gender neutral, but the bin men on our street never change.
To deny their gender choice seems... disrespectful.

But the thing I like about them the most is their hi-vis wooly hats.

And I want one.

I don’t know why but my phase of bright colours stopped suddenly.

I’m now into greys and navy blues.
Maybe it’s my broken toe.

Maybe it’s a good sign that it’s getting better.
That I want the bright colours again.

Okay, here’s the idea:
These bright yellow hats are company-issued, and staff are selling them off on Ebay.

I could get one off Ebay.

And I’m bothered that don’t have a problem with that.

I pay council tax, which goes straight into the pockets of the couple of companies which do this in the UK.
I practically deserve a bright yellow hat as a bent kickback.

Turns out it’s actually quite hard to find.

I’m looking up hi-vis hat, and Ebay is showing me loads of Royal Mail worker hats.

I’d dress up as a Postman - but the colour scheme’s really down.

I’ll look up hi-vis yellow hat instead.
And the company name with all the combinations I can think of.

But nothing.
Not even on the completed listings.

These bin men are good.
Loyal to their company.
If the company provide them.

I could just buy one of the unbranded ones.
They’re only a few quid.

Okay... I can offer the bin man some money to buy his.
But then they won’t be seen properly and might get hurt.

Okay. I need to think this through.

I look up the other Bin Man company.
Yep, their staff are selling their hats.




Maybe we do have the best other Bin Man company.

So there, now you know what’s in my head.

But regrettably, not what's on it.”


I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- German supermarket chain supermarket shop: Chicken and ice cream.
“Short checkout line, no incidents.”
JOY 7


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DAY TRIP TO SOUTHSEA! #TightwadDad VLOG 033


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Saturday, 9 March 2019

DAY TRIP TO SOUTHSEA! #TightwadDad VLOG 033



DAY TRIP TO SOUTHSEA! #TightwadDad VLOG 004 | Neil Mossey



I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Parking at the beach.
JOY 1

- Arcading in the amusements.
JOY 11
“I love that word, arcading.
Like it’s a job.
It is.”

- Fish and chips dinner on the pier with an English Channel view.
JOY 9 to 10
“Plus offered £11 off for poor service, even though we thought it was quite good.”

- Free cinema tickets (paid by Granddad).
JOY 8.5
“And tested out a game ‘Multiplex Cinema Screen Roulette’ with my boy.
The rules are simple.
You sneak into other screens, gambling that it’s not something massively wrong.
This’ll be a hit if we had more time, but had to balance it against the validated parking.
With actual money involved, there’s the real jeopardy.”

- Parking at cinema.
JOY 6
“Validated. £2.10.”

- Supermarket chain mini store shop: Milk x2.
JOY 5

And here is a transcript of how we reached these scores.

[MUSIC] Hello I’m Neil - #TightwadDad.
I made a video where I took a trip to London, and I measured the Money vs. JOY.
And today, it’s my son’s birthday.
And we’ve come here to Southsea!
[MUSIC] So already the spending’s started.
We’re on £4.10 for the beach parking.
Joy there is 1.
[MUSIC] Doing first?
Arcade.
Arcade.
[MUSIC] [COIN PUSHER NOISES]
Arcading.
Score out of 10 for Joy.
Arcading?
Eleven.
Eleven?
So it was 11 for the arcading.
[MUSIC] 9 to 10.
So shall we call it 9 and a half?
9.5?
Yeah.
9.5.
So now we’re gonna go to the cinema.
It’ll be interesting to see how much money versus joy that brings.
[MUSIC] It’s amazing.
I’d rate this a 10, just walking here.
Just being here’s a ten?
So just being in the multiplex place is a ten.
Yeah.
[MUSIC] Hey Joe what did you think of it.
I liked it.
Yeah?
So how much Joy was that.
Well it was all so sad.
It was sad - we laughed, we cried...
I’ll give it an eight!
An eight.
An eight and a half.
Yeah, I’d give it-- eight and a half?!
So for this particular film, it was an 8 and a half.
And parking was £2.10.
How much Joy for the parking?
Erm, I think they should’ve done it...
I’ll go for a... six.
So a six?
Six for a parking?!
That’s quite high.
Okay.
Six.


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Life Cover #TightwadDad 032


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Friday, 8 March 2019

Life Cover #TightwadDad 032



I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- German supermarket chain supermarket quickie shop: Bread, birthday cake ingredients, maple syrup, kitchen roll.
JOY 7

- Decaf coconut latte in a coffee shop chain coffee shop.
“Because it was charged as a 'small' even though my reusable cup is big, because the staff are kind.”
JOY 8

- Life Cover.
“And what’s the cover for?
In the event of my death, my family can carry on spending.”
JOY 1


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2019? What about hoverboards? #TightwadDad Podcast 031


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Thursday, 7 March 2019

2019? What about hoverboards? #TightwadDad Podcast 031




I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Birthday presents.

- Free toothbrushes and toothpastes from dentists.

- Supermarket shop: Reduced BBQ prawns, reduced spatchcock chicken, birthday candles, party poppers, balloons.




2019? What about hoverboards? #TightwadDad Podcast with Neil and Joe 008

Let’s see if we can get up to 10.
Hello welcome to episode 8 of the TightwadDad Podcast, with me Neil.
And Joe.
And welcome back to the Happy Hut.

Episode 8!
Eight!
We never thought we’d get this far!
No, and we’ve been sat here for about...
(LAUGHS) It’s been 15 minutes since I've looked at the clock.
It is.
Episode 8.

I don’t have any questions.
But what are we going to talk about?

I feel like - our year - look there's a lot of things are going on - yeah - like Big Ben.
It's being rebuilt.
It's, it's gonna be its original colour.
New technology: there's going to be new technology.

So you’re saying that “this is an exciting year.
This is 2019.
This is an exciting year to live through?”

Yeah we're in the future.
We're in good future - yeah.
But I wanna talk about film predictions.
Because you know Back To The Future II?
Yeah.
2015.
They're thinking way ahead.
They were, at the time.

They’d think things would hover.

What happened to the hoverboards?
I still want one.
Okay.
But I thought everyone would be using them, and they’re not.
Well, when we were on holiday - I saw this girl on a hoverboard.
I really wish I had one.

You really want one?
Yeah - but then there's gonna be a new thing as soon as I get it.
Exactly.

This is what I don't like.
But you said-- Dad, your eyebrows are so long!
I know.

We made a whole video where Joe pulls out my eyebrows.
And I haven’t trimmed them since then!
[LAUGHS] Are you just looking at my eyebrows now?

No but like the whole time we've been podcasting Yeah.
You know that scar there where you fell off your bike?
Yeah.

I've been looking at that the whole time.
And now you’re looking at my eyebrows.
Yeah.

So we gonna make another video where you pull out my eyebrows?
Maybe.
Okay.
Well this has been a fantastic episode.
So if you've gotten this far into a video please subscribe if you think this is a good video and leave a thumbs up that you've got this far into the video and you've liked it.
Thanks for watching, and we’ll see you on the next episode of Tightwad Dad.
Bye!
Can you please help my daddy get 1000 subscribers, just click on his face.
Thanks, bye!
[Music]


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Royal Mail Access Fees For Our Letterbox #TightwadDad 030


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Wednesday, 6 March 2019

Royal Mail Access Fees For Our Letterbox #TightwadDad 030



I had a card through the door:
“Unfortunately we can’t deliver your item because there is a fee to pay.”

Like it’s my problem.
Except now it is.
What a tease.

A 2 quid lottery gamble on I don’t know what from I don’t know who.

And now I’m annoyed that they've really made me want it.

You'd think that's genius.

But they've personally handwritten this invite to me in Biro.
And built and maintained a whole local storage facility network to handle my stuff.

And I know that I'm no good at macro economics but...

"Did you just spend way more than 2 quid on this card?
Did you?
Cool!

Okay.
I see your timewasting.
And yes.
I'm gonna double down!"

Because the one thing I crave in my life right now is yet more correspondence.

So I go to the sorting office to get it sorted.

I ask the kind man behind the bulletproof glass if it's okay to peek before paying.

“Sure! Here it is. Do you think you want it?”

"You win this time Royal Mail.
Making cash from all that stuff I never even wanted through my door...

I do.
It's a Christmas card.
Thanks.

But just you wait.
Teaching us that our letterboxes have some kind of money-making significance.

One day, just one day, what if we start charging access fees to that hole in our door.
Yeah, what then?
Maybe I'll send you a commercial loss-making handwritten notification card to settle in cash."

I clearly haven't thought this through.


I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- School coat and navy tights from high street shop online.

- Birthday stuff.

- Big online supermarket delivery order (for tomorrow).

- Milk from expensive supermarket.

- 1x Choctastic
"A healthy chocolate milkshake with like cacao and banana in it?
And they whizz it up."


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#teamTIGHTWAD 029 Going back to being a #TightwadDad


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Tuesday, 5 March 2019

#teamTIGHTWAD 029 Going back to being a #TightwadDad



It’s the day after I’ve been sharing our daily spending online for one month.
And I want to keep going with it.

This is a big step because I’m going back to admitting that I am a Tightwad Dad.

And I am going to be the best Tightwad Dad in the UK, by making families happy with the least money possible.

Just for another month.
Is that Day 48?
Let’s make it a round 50.

I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- Decaf coconut latte in a coffee shop chain shop.

- Dental work.

- School music lessons.


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I DID IT. 28 DAYS LATER #teamTIGHTWAD 028


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Monday, 4 March 2019

I DID IT. 28 DAYS LATER #teamTIGHTWAD 028



I DID IT!

ONE FULL MONTH!

Agh. It’s so hard.
Sharing this every day.

Why do I have to share these daily?

Because I know if I didn’t, I would stop.

I am in awe of Seth Godin. And Bob Lefsetz. And James Altucher. And Casey Neistat.
That they can show up every day, with a new story.

With their take on the world that nobody needs and nobody asked for.

So this is all a big trick.
Sharing my spending every day is just a trick.
Pandering to prurience: mainly mine.
Getting me to share something that might help.

We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- German supermarket chain supermarket top-up shop: Bread, fruit, yoghurt, seeds, cotton pads.
- Car tax.


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Why I should stop doing this now #teamTIGHTWAD 027


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Sunday, 3 March 2019

Why I should stop doing this now #teamTIGHTWAD 027



I have been sharing our spending online for a month, tomorrow.

And I really want to stop.

1
It’s having zero impact on our spending.

2
It’s having zero impact on anybody else.

3
I’m now filling up the story with lists.

4 Even I'm judging the spending.

Either that we look too cheap, with our charity shop trips.
Or simultaneously like oafs.
With our meat.
And our internal combustion engine.
And getting our meat with our internal combustion engine.

5
I wanted it to be a fun take on one family fitting in to the industrio-smartphone complex.

But instead it looks like we’re single-handedly destroying the planet.

We’ve got branded bin liners.

And, man, they are really nice.

Plastic wrapping that’ll probably last a century.
But... boy... do they fit our kitchen bin exactly.
To take our waste all the way to someone else’s problem.

They’ve got a jaunty slogan on the side:
“MAKING ROOM FOR BIGGER DREAMS.”
This bin liner’s expensive because it’s Art.
Like a canvas that’ll go on forever.

And I know that it’ll wash up on some coast on some higher water table.
Some future generation’s gonna rip it off some near extinct crab and say:
“We can’t eat from the oceans.”

But they don’t understand.
It feels so good right now.
It fits our bin exactly!

6
Where was I.

Oh yeah, one more day to go.

We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- Decaf coconut latte in a coffee chain coffee shop.
- Free family swimming pool session (with voucher).
- Slushies x2 in cafe after swimming (red and lemon mixed).


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Is this how you wanted it to be? #teamTIGHTWAD 026


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Saturday, 2 March 2019

Is this how you wanted it to be? #teamTIGHTWAD 026



We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- German supermarket chain supermarket mini-shop: Bread, bacon and a pomelo.
("It was on offer")
I still have no idea what a pomelo is. I will make it my mission to find out.
- Swimming lessons.

Is this how you wanted it to be? #TightwadDad Podcast with Neil and Joe 007



Which episode is this now?
Episode 7.
No way!
Already.
High five, good work!
I’ve been sat here for about one hour.
Yeah we’ve been sat here a long time, it’s cold in the Happy Hut. I’m Neil, thanks for joining us.
I’m Joe.
And it’s the #TightwadDad Podcast episode 7.
I’m excited.
Are you? Well you should be because this is a special episode, it’s your turn to ask a question.
Okay, Dad?
Yeah.
Um... give me a minute to think.
Okay.

Do you think living like this is just how it is?
How you wanted it to be? How do you want us to live?

That’s a really good question!
You’re like “Uhhh, the money, uhhhh... all the money....”
Joe, that’s a really good question. I’m really happy and grateful for how we live.
I thought you're not going to get work done if you just keep thinking about that and go “I want it!”
That’s really wise! Ohmygod, you’re nine!

I wanted to be more happy with what we’ve got.
Yeah, and share it with the world.
If you live in a mud hut, maybe you should worry about y’know, where your next meal is coming from...

The only place you could get mud houses in like swamps or forests - yeah - and there would be water there but it's dirty. Have you seen those adverts: “Text us to pay 3 pounds to give these children water - give them what they deserve.” It’s really catchy.
That’s right, and we don’t live like that!
No!
So we’ve got clean water, electricity, heat... what else have we got?
This!
We’ve got... this. Whatever it is.

We wouldn't - it wouldn't sound like this - it wouldn't sound as good without this.
I shouldn’t have got this, we should’ve spent that money on food.
[Laughs] No! because we wouldn't be talking about this.
And we wouldn’t be able to share this. There’s nothing to worry about - yeah - And I’m trying to worry less.
When you're little, you were dreaming if there was a war going.
I did, yeah!
There was going to be a war.

Because it was nuclear war. All the news, and the news was just all about nuclear warheads and Protect And Survive, and those scary adverts. And what was the point of that, ‘cos it didn’t happen!
It didn’t happen.
So are you going to worry about anything?
Yeah because you might you would probably be dead.
Yeah so there was no point in worrying.
Don't worry about my worries [laughs]

Are you happy?
Yeah, I’m happy.


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Justifying the coffee shop #teamTIGHTWAD 025


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Friday, 1 March 2019

Justifying the coffee shop #teamTIGHTWAD 025



I can already see I spend way too much time in the coffee shop.
So instantly I want to justify it.

I say I go there to work.
That I’m not there for the coffee but the table.
What if it’s avoiding the work?

Spending our family money on being away from the family, to get a table and a drink that I could get for next to free at home.

It’s an addiction I can’t give up.

I try and save cash by getting the cheaper milk and a discount for the reusable cup (thanks, planet).

Once, I spent ages choosing coconut (+40p) or soya (free) because coffee chains hate me, then went home and found out an app signed us up for incoming Premium Rate texts which you cant block because mobile phone companies hate us. (£72+VAT)

The coffee shop chain and the mobile phone company isn’t the problem.
The problem is wanting this stuff around me.
Because that’s the deal, for wanting stuff we don’t need.

What if there's a better way to go through life.


We are #teamTIGHTWAD, and this day we found joy spending on...

- Medium-sized supermarket shop
(including frozen pizza, veg, bread, yoga, curry stuff: veg, naan, samosas, herbs, pickles and ice cream cones) with £18 loyalty coupons off.
- Dairy-free milk (from the little supermarket).



Try my new book!

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