Top 10 Upsides Of Recovering From A Boris Bike Crash - DAD LESSONS FOR MY KIDS

Originally posted this last year. So for the 1 year anniversary...

DAD LESSONS FOR MY KIDS
- Top 10 Upsides Of Recovering From A Boris Bike Crash -



10
Face looks like a themed Google logo. Changes by the day.

9
Being known to a handful of healthcare professionals affectionately as ‘that bloke who had the Boris Bike crash’.

8
Talking like Louis Spence.



7
Chunks falling off face like an maxillofacial advent calendar. Festive.

6
Patronising kids in the supermarket who stare to ‘always wear a bike helmet’, like some kind of deranged 1950s superhero.

5
Looking like a vagrant whose stuff never gets touched. Also festive.



4
Hours spent concussed equals hours not spent hearing about Eurozone crisis.

3
Drinking through a straw makes 2 year old son feel superior.

2
Finally being able to look my hero Erik Estrada in the eye.
We both know what this is like.


1
Looking like a Hitler cat.
Or the bloke from Sparks.
Or Blakey from On The Buses.





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The Classified Ad Break - DAD LESSONS FOR MY KIDS

These are my Dad Lessons For My Kids - to browse at their leisure.
And then ignore.

- The Classified Ad Break -

Life in 2012:
We have a thing called Local Papers, which have a section called The Classified Ads.

Here's a Classified Ad Break...



(...from a show I made with John Gordillo called The Recommended Daily Allowance - full series here.).

Here are some of the ads, with more added.



PORTALOO plus melamine crockery, very cheap.



Furniture for sale. £95 Per item.



IN BOX. good condition. £10.



Grave for sale. Offers.



Drop side cot with mattress. Easy erection and storage for grandparents visitors.



I'M SELLING a Sanyo TV. Or 3.



Language course.



Writing Desk.
For
w r i t i n g.
(VIA @Caroline_Gold THANKS!)



Large stocks of Sellotape. it has hundreds of uses.



Lady required to groom and look after horses. In return for riding.



Very comfy sofa for £30. No... wait, £40, YES £40.



PAPER CLIPS. (got anything like this in your local rag?)



Ahhhh. Never been worn wedding dress.


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Setting the clock on a Lamona oven - UNDERSTANDING YOUR BRITISH DAD #BRITISHDAD

- Setting the clock on a Lamona oven -



Here’s how to change the clock on a Lamona oven.

Hold down the first two buttons on the left,

then keep holding those 2 buttons down while you use the + or - buttons to set the time.

Here's my badly shot video!



It's not funny and by the time you see this, it’s probably not much use to you either.

But at least I know where I can find the answer now.


I get at least 10 hits per day from people searching for this.
You must all have Howdens Kitchens.

Also - don't think the Lamona oven works until the clock has been set...

Leave me a comment if it helped!
Click here or on comments below - THANKS

-- this is an old post now, so I have to approve each comment, which sometimes takes a while--- sorry about that - it looks like your comment didn't get through.
I do get all your comments though, and I do approve them, just didn't want you to think they're being ignored.

By the way, I blog here most days, all about - being a British Dad. (there's no manual for that, either).

How I got my first job

How all this got started.



Claire. ‏@Clurrr93
what does it take to be apart of the media industry? i'm currently studying film, radio and television studies at uni! :)

@neilmossey
hello-I did drama deg so had no chance! Sent out 85 letters for work exp and got about 40 rejections. The best reply was from...

..the one job I really wanted (Danny Baker show pilot) + became runner for series. Whats the lesson? Send out loads? Hold out...

..for the thing you most want? I dunno. Do both I guess! Upside: itll always need keen entry lev help but never advertise.

I actually looked forward to the rejection letters each morning-its a numbers game. Good luck -keep me posted on how you get on!

So ‏@Clurrr93. Yes. This could be you too.





@prodnose
Ah Neil - just 18 months ago that photo and look at us both...


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PS think this might be a clip of Danny from 1969
http://www.itnsource.com/shotlist//ITN/1969/09/12/FS120969100/?s=deptford+school+food+poisoning&st=0&pn=1

Do you have your own lookalike? -- Update

Got some great replies to the "Who is YOUR lookalike" post


‏@obi1kanobi
brad pitt

@MrF1978
this will be me in ten years time.... http://i.wp.pl/a/f/film/033/52/75/0257552.jpg
(daniel stern..he was in home alone and city slickers)

@MikeRayment
I'm told I look like French midfielder Samir Nasri: http://pic.twitter.com/oUlUWee1

‏@ringo147
@NeilMossey Nah you look more like http://pic.twitter.com/qJTT6KZz




@1980kilgor
My famous lookalike was Tom Selleck when I was much younger (according to my sisters). I never saw it, tho.

‏@LisaHoctor
mine's Mick Hucknall

‏@kilgor
More like Colonel Sanders


Updated the post "Do You Have A Famous Lookalike? This is mine..." here.

Do you have a famous lookalike? This is mine... Fulham footballer Andy Johnson neilmossey.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/meet-m…

— Neil Mossey (@NeilMossey) June 10, 2012

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Top 10 Upsides Of Recovering From A Boris Bike Crash

Top 10 Upsides Of Recovering From A Boris Bike Crash

10
Face looks like a themed Google logo. Changes by the day.

9
Being known to a handful of healthcare professionals affectionately as ‘that bloke who had the Boris Bike crash’.

8
Talking like Louis Spence.

7
Chunks falling off face like an maxillofacial advent calendar. Festive.

6
Patronising kids in the supermarket who stare to ‘always wear a bike helmet’, like some kind of deranged 1950s superhero.

5
Looking like a vagrant whose stuff never gets touched. Also festive.

4
Hours spent concussed equals hours not spent hearing about Eurozone crisis.

3
Drinking through a straw makes 2 year old son feel superior.

2
Finally being able to look my hero Erik Estrada in the eye. We know what this is like.

1
Looking like a Hitler cat. Or the bloke from Sparks. Or Blakey from On The Buses.





CLICK HERE for all my Dad Stuff

CLICK HERE for all my Likes


Or, better, why not follow me for free by email, by clicking here. It's completely safe, from my own email address, you can unsubscribe at any time, and it helps encourage me to keep on posting. Thanks!

Toddler Quotes

Some Toddler Quotes:

"High fibe".

Son, sat on sofa eating ice cream he served for himself by taking it out of the freezer.

"It's not real. It's just pretend mummy".

Singing to the Andrew Marr Show title sequence music every Sunday morning.

Car.
It’s Andrew Marr.
He’s in his car.
And, he’s driving in to work.
Marr!
Herrre comes Aaandrew Marr!

Have you ever tried describing the concept of ME to a 2 year old?
Its a bit like a knockoff Abbot and Costello sketch.

("That's me.
That's me.
No, you say that's you.
Me?
No, that's me.
Me.
No, that's me, Daddy.
That's me.") etc.

Every time son sees someone wearing a bowler hat, he starts singing:

"Every body's going to the party.
Every body's going to the party.
Every body's going to the party..."

"Fffft plsssth".

(Translation: Open the car roof, please)





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Meet my lookalike. Footballer Andy Johnson.

My lookalike, footballer Andy Johnson, used to play with CHANG on his top.

In my top, I have changs.


Do you think I should maybe write to him, or contact him?

Does anyone out there have an 'in' with Andrew Johnson?

Do you have a famous lookalike? This is mine... Fulham footballer Andy Johnson neilmossey.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/meet-m…

— Neil Mossey (@NeilMossey) June 10, 2012

UPDATE 10.6.12 - Here are some of the replies...

@obi1kanobi
brad pitt

@MrF1978
this will be me in ten years time.... http://i.wp.pl/a/f/film/033/52/75/0257552.jpg
(daniel stern..he was in home alone and city slickers)

@MikeRayment
I'm told I look like French midfielder Samir Nasri: http://pic.twitter.com/oUlUWee1

‏@ringo147
@NeilMossey Nah you look more like http://pic.twitter.com/qJTT6KZz




@1980kilgor
My famous lookalike was Tom Selleck when I was much younger (according to my sisters). I never saw it, tho.

‏@LisaHoctor
mine's Mick Hucknall

‏@kilgor
More like Colonel Sanders


Updated the post "Do You Have A Famous Lookalike? This is mine..." here.

Do you have a famous lookalike? This is mine... Fulham footballer Andy Johnson neilmossey.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/meet-m…

— Neil Mossey (@NeilMossey) June 10, 2012

Click here for all my Dad Stuff


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Hanging Out With The Boss

"The greatest moments in life are not concerned with selfish achievement but rather with the things we do for the people we love and esteem, and whose respect we need."

Walt Disney


"What camera we on?"

Me