DAD LESSONS FOR MY KIDS
- Top 10 Upsides Of Recovering From A Boris Bike Crash -
10
Face looks like a themed Google logo. Changes by the day.
9
Being known to a handful of healthcare professionals affectionately as ‘that bloke who had the Boris Bike crash’.
8
Talking like Louis Spence.
7
Chunks falling off face like an maxillofacial advent calendar. Festive.
6
Patronising kids in the supermarket who stare to ‘always wear a bike helmet’, like some kind of deranged 1950s superhero.
5
Looking like a vagrant whose stuff never gets touched. Also festive.
4
Hours spent concussed equals hours not spent hearing about Eurozone crisis.
3
Drinking through a straw makes 2 year old son feel superior.
2
Finally being able to look my hero Erik Estrada in the eye.
We both know what this is like.
1
Looking like a Hitler cat.
Or the bloke from Sparks.
Or Blakey from On The Buses.
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