Sunday, 30 October 2011

Want to hear the simultaneous worst/best script note I was ever given?

Best/worst note I ever received.

Asked for me to change or remove from my dialogue a “Besides...” (as synonym for “Anyway”).

The reason given was that it was part of the Script Editor’s ongoing war against its use in comedy and drama. Because it’s one of those “written” words. No-one really uses it in actual everyday speech, do they?

I huffed, puffed and got a little annoyed. But the more I thought about it... the more I realised that I hadn’t in fact heard it used in genuine actual out-and-about chit chat.

I’ve been listening out to hear someone say "Besides..." in natural speech for about six years now.

Only ever hear it used by characters on TV.

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Thursday, 27 October 2011

How To Live Like Nineties MAN?

How to live like Nineties MAN

No furniture.

No portion control.

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Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Big Guys Need Bottle

Ever drink Crabbies Alcoholic Ginger Beer straight out the bottle like you’re a big hard guy.

Till that point you remember its essentially confectionery?

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Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Toddler Quotes

Some Toddler Quotes:

"High fibe".

Son, sat on sofa eating ice cream he served for himself by taking it out of the freezer.
"It's not real. It's just pretend mummy".

Singing to the Andrew Marr Show title sequence music every Sunday morning.
It’s Andrew Marr.
He’s in his car.
And, he’s driving in to work.
Herrre comes Aaandrew Marr!

Have you ever tried describing the concept of ME to a 2 year old?
Its a bit like a knockoff Abbot and Costello sketch.
("That's me.
That's me.
No, you say that's you.
No, that's me.
No, that's me, Daddy.
That's me.") etc.

Every time son sees someone wearing a bowler hat, he starts singing:
"Every body's going to the party.
Every body's going to the party.
Every body's going to the party..."

"Fffft plsssth".
(Translation: Open the car roof, please)

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Thursday, 13 October 2011

Married Couple Allowance

Wanted to take Conservative government offer of £12 per week tax break for married couples.

Fiancée not impressed by the proposal.

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Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Sunday, 9 October 2011

My First 10 New Band Names

My Band Names.

They will be big, oh yes, they will rock.

Enigmas With Attitude

Mossady Passport Forgers

No Hat. No Boots. No job.

The Rumble Strips

US Jets and Jews

Anthea Turners Toilet Tips

Champneys Flip Flops

Chicken Pox Party

Wapping Blue Smokes

Phil&Teds Chassis Recall

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Thursday, 6 October 2011

Meet my lookalike. Footballer Andy Johnson.

My lookalike, footballer Andy Johnson, used to play with CHANG on his top.

andy johnson, andrew johnson, Everton, Fulham FC

In my top, I have changs.

Do you think I should maybe write to him, or contact him?

Does anyone out there have an 'in' with Andrew Johnson?

UPDATE 10.6.12 - Here are some of the replies...

brad pitt

this will be me in ten years time....
(daniel stern..he was in home alone and city slickers)

I'm told I look like French midfielder Samir Nasri:

@NeilMossey Nah you look more like

My famous lookalike was Tom Selleck when I was much younger (according to my sisters). I never saw it, tho.

mine's Mick Hucknall

More like Colonel Sanders

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Tuesday, 4 October 2011

How to live your life with TINA FEY’S IMPROV RULES


In Bossypants, Tina Fey claims Rules of Improv are worth living by.

She can’t understand why people in the world shoot things down or say no without contributing something themselves.

I agree - and these probably also apply to good comedy dialogue in scenes, and working with writing partners...

- Rule #1: Start with Yes

Tina Fey’s example:
Actor: “Freeze, I have a gun!”
Bad improv response: “No you don’t, that’s your finger.”
Good response: “The gun I gave you for Christmas? You jerk!”

So you agree with your partner’s springboard.
Respect what your partner has created.
Start with a yes, and see where that takes you.

- Rule #2: Say “Yes, and —–”

Tina Fey’s example:
Actor: “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here.”
Bad improv response: “Yeah.”
Good response: “I told you we shouldn’t have crawled into this dog’s mouth.”

Agree and add.
Don’t be afraid to contribute.
Your initiations are worth something.

- Rule #3: Make statements - Don’t ask questions all the time

Tina Fey’s example:
Bad improv: Who are you? Where are we? What are we doing here? What’s in that box? (This puts pressure on the other actor to come up with all the answers.)
Good improv: Here we are in Spain, Dracula.

Questions put pressure on the other person to come up with the answers. Be part of the solution, don’t just point out problems.
No-one wants to go to a doctor who presents their solution in the form of questions.

- Rule #4: There are no mistakes, only opportunities


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Sunday, 2 October 2011