Sunday 18 December 2011

Top 10 Upsides Of Recovering From A Boris Bike Crash

Top 10 Upsides Of Recovering From A Boris Bike Crash

Face looks like a themed Google logo. Changes by the day.

Being known to a handful of healthcare professionals affectionately as ‘that bloke who had the Boris Bike crash’.

Talking like Louis Spence.

Chunks falling off face like an maxillofacial advent calendar. Festive.

Patronising kids in the supermarket who stare to ‘always wear a bike helmet’, like some kind of deranged 1950s superhero.

Looking like a vagrant whose stuff never gets touched. Also festive.

Hours spent concussed equals hours not spent hearing about Eurozone crisis.

Drinking through a straw makes 2 year old son feel superior.

Finally being able to look my hero Erik Estrada in the eye. We know what this is like.

Looking like a Hitler cat. Or the bloke from Sparks. Or Blakey from On The Buses.

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Sunday 4 December 2011

How To Break A New Story From Scratch

Having trouble planning out story beats?

This is Dan Wells, with an awesome system for plotting an outline, using a 7 Point Story Structure...

HOOK (Start)
PLOT TURN 1 (Conflict)
PINCH 1 (Horrible Things Happen)
MID-POINT (Move from Reaction To Action)
PINCH 2 (Jaws Of Defeat - lowest point)
PLOT TURN 2 (Obtain final thing)

Dan Wells On Story Structure Part 1

What's really useful with Dan's system is the order you tackle the 7 Points:

- Everything in your story leads to this moment.
- What is your story about? Where is your story going?
- Make sure you know what kind of resolution you want.
We start at the end because everything in the story leads to this moment. This is the climax. The point. Where it’s leading up to, what it’s about.
(eg Harry Potter: Harry defeats Voldemort)

- Now we know the ending, figure out where we start.
- One easy way to do this is to start with the opposite state: eg if a character is going to end strong, she should start weak. (eg starting Batman as a depressed directionless loser, or Harry Potter as weak orphan under the stairs).

- How you start moving from Hero’s beginning state to end state. It’s where Hero moves from Reaction to Action.
(eg Fellowship of the Ring: ‘Oh no, let’s not get killed’ to ‘Let’s take the fight to them’. Midpoint is Council of Elron where they make that decision.
Harry Potter: Start sad & wimpy to Defeating Voldemort, so his MidPoint is ‘He learns who Voldemort is, what V wants to do, & decide he’s going to do something about it.’)

Dan Wells on Story Structure, part 2 of 5

- This event moves us from the HOOK to the MID POINT. It’s what sets you in motion.
- This is where we introduce our conflict.
(So Harry Potter starts with a situation, but then a conflict is introduced. Changing the world the character lives in. A Call To Adventure, Or Confronting New Ideas).

- This is the thing that moves the story from MID POINT to END
- At MIDPOINT you determine to do something, and in the RESOLUTION you do it.
So Plot Turn 2 is where you obtain the final thing you need to make it happen.
“The Power Is In You!”
(eg Star Wars “Use The Force”; Oz “You Can Go Home Any Time You Want”; Matrix “Neo: You Are The One”).
- Grasping victory from the jaws of defeat: Something horrible just happened, but now the heroes have what they need...even if they don't realise it at the time.
- It's something that's going to give us the final piece we need to move from 'trying to succeed' to finally succeeding. (eg Harry Potter: Harry discovers the stone is in her pocket because his motives are pure).

- A PINCH is designed to Apply Pressure. Horrible things happen. The purpose of a pinch is to force your characters into action.
(eg Harry Potter: The Troll Attack. No adults around, forcing children to solve the problem on their own. It's where we introduce danger into a fun environment.)

- Pinch 2 applies more pressure, and makes the situation seem even worse.
A plan fails; A mentor dies leaving the heroes alone; The bad guys seem to win.
- These are the jaws of defeat from which your Hero will be snatching victory. Make sure the teeth are sharp.
(eg. Harry Potter: Harry loses Ron & Hermione to the traps and is left alone)
[Forces Hero to grow up, forces to work alone, SEEMS HOPELESS].

Dan Wells on Story Structure, part 3 of 5

Examples of Romantic, Tragedy, and Horror Plots

Dan Wells on Story Structure, part 4 of 5

- The Hook scene in most story arcs is not very interesting (Most arcs start in a position of weakness)
- Most plots start before the conflict is introduced
- You need to grab readers attention NOW

- Before Heroes succeed, they need to try and fail
- Victory should be earned
- A problem that can be solved on first try isn't big enough to care about

Dan Wells on Story Structure, part 5 of 5

- Each thread can be mapped out - Spread events for pacing
- Line up the events to create powerful moments & scenes

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Tuesday 18 October 2011

Toddler Quotes

Some Toddler Quotes:

"High fibe".

Son, sat on sofa eating ice cream he served for himself by taking it out of the freezer.
"It's not real. It's just pretend mummy".

Singing to the Andrew Marr Show title sequence music every Sunday morning.
It’s Andrew Marr.
He’s in his car.
And, he’s driving in to work.
Herrre comes Aaandrew Marr!

Have you ever tried describing the concept of ME to a 2 year old?
Its a bit like a knockoff Abbot and Costello sketch.
("That's me.
That's me.
No, you say that's you.
No, that's me.
No, that's me, Daddy.
That's me.") etc.

Every time son sees someone wearing a bowler hat, he starts singing:
"Every body's going to the party.
Every body's going to the party.
Every body's going to the party..."

"Fffft plsssth".
(Translation: Open the car roof, please)

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Thursday 6 October 2011

Meet my lookalike. Footballer Andy Johnson.

My lookalike, footballer Andy Johnson, used to play with CHANG on his top.

andy johnson, andrew johnson, Everton, Fulham FC

In my top, I have changs.

Do you think I should maybe write to him, or contact him?

Does anyone out there have an 'in' with Andrew Johnson?

UPDATE 10.6.12 - Here are some of the replies...

brad pitt

this will be me in ten years time....
(daniel stern..he was in home alone and city slickers)

I'm told I look like French midfielder Samir Nasri:

@NeilMossey Nah you look more like

My famous lookalike was Tom Selleck when I was much younger (according to my sisters). I never saw it, tho.

mine's Mick Hucknall

More like Colonel Sanders

Updated the post "Do You Have A Famous Lookalike? This is mine..." here.

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Tuesday 13 September 2011

Best Pitch Invasion... Ever. Fave 100 TV moments #4

Putting 100 of my favourite TV moments on here...

#4 Best Pitch Invasion ever

(chesterfield fc saltergate last match pitch invasion the original)

It was actually really difficult trying to find a version of this on YouTube where the title of the video doesn't blow the punchline of this sheer video thing-of-beauty.

Click here for my full list of top 100 all-time favourite TV clips!

#5 Best Awards Acceptance Speech Ever -->

<-- #3 Fave TV: Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em

Wednesday 3 August 2011

How Broadcast Magazine photos are done.

How Broadcast Magazine photos are made. (In 1998).

Dont smile. Look down.

I look down.

Now look up.

I look up.

WITHOUT moving your head.

I try doing that, but I can tell he still hasn't got what he's after.

Now look like you don't want to be here.

(See also "How to look AngryDrunk in print")

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Thursday 28 July 2011

Fave TV #2 The Best Steadicam Shot In The World Ever

27 seconds of GOLD. From Eurovision 2009.

...and this is how Karsten Jacobsen did it:

Crash a handlebar-less segway into the stage while holding your steadicam... but just remember to keep on running...

UPDATE -- 27 Dec 2011

This is what happens when it goes wrong... (via @fieldproducer)

UPDATE -- 27 Aug 2012

DIY Steadicam - Flying Camera Support

Garret Brown's original Steadicam® is an icon that revolutionized filmmaking. Being the first and the best, it naturally and justifiably commands a premium price. It is for this reason that homemade DIY Flying Camera Supports have been around since at least 1977, just one short year after Mr. Brown's invention.

UPDATE -- 16 Dec 2012

Mike Reid hosting the Southern Television kids show Runaround, explaining how a steadicam works...

Link to the video here - love how to illustrate it they use a clip from... The Omen

UPDATE -- 19 Feb 2014

Well, technically, this ain't no Steadicam - it's a Gimbal.
(Should it ever come to pass... definite name for my third child)

But you run around with it like a steadicam...

(Via the phenomenal director, John Palmer)

MoVI M10 - Behind The Scenes - Steady Cam Camera Stabilizer Rig

Full top 100 fave TV clips list here

#3 This is how I answer the phone - Fave TV: Some Mothers Do Ave Em -->

<-- #1 Fave TV: Control Rooms and production galleries

Sunday 24 July 2011

Fave TV #1 Control Rooms and production galleries

Putting my fave 100 bits of TV into one place.

Starting with TV eating itself.

These got me wanting to do this for a living, (and why we put a gallery shot into every titles sequence of The RDA (completely lifted from the CNN live "break bumper" shots of the time)).

One from 1989 with Jeremy Paxman... (Director: Janet Fraser-Crook)

Here’s another (not safe for work) - from when the UK hosted the Eurovision Song Contest in 1977. (Director: Stewart Morris)

(If you liked that one, you'll LOVE these Stewart Morris stories)

And one from the States during the Oscars (Director: Louis J Horwitz)

BBC One O'Clock News from 1986, where the bulletin runs out of news. (Director: Unknown)

"I've got no scripts Mike!"
"We're going to have to crash... we'll have to crash..."

How the London 2012 Olympic Games Opening Ceremony was covered... (Director: Hamish Hamilton)

Turns out it was shot and completely edited and post-produced, before then turned into camera scripts for the big day...

Behind The Scenes - Television Centre (1971)

Includes "Cousin Bette", and "Blue Peter".

Full top 100 fave TV clips list here

Fave TV #2 The Best Steadicam Shot In The World Ever -->

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Friday 22 July 2011

My Favourite 100 TV Moments

My fave 100 TV moments.

I put them here.

I've not finished the list yet, but here they are. Absolutely in no particular order whatsoever...

1 Control Rooms and production galleries

2 The Best Steadicam Shot In The World Ever

3 Some Mothers Do 'Ave Em

4 The Best Pitch Invasion Ever?

5 The Best Awards Acceptance Speech Ever?

6 Pingu Needs A Wee

7 When ITV Regions Ruled The World (The ITV Region Start Up Theme Tune)

8 This Is The BBC

9 Favourite Standup Comedian who is no longer with us

10 The Best Action Scene Ever, Ever, Ever

11 Pipkins

12 My favourite clip about writing TV sitcoms

13 Engelbert Humperdinck on the BBC VT Xmas tape 1979


15 Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation

16 The Adverts

17 Space Ghost, Coast to Coast

18 Mystery Science Theater 3000

19 The Cinema Ads


21 Seventies TV Music Performances


#23 When TV News sucks

#24 Alan Johnston Vigil

#25 Fave sketch show sketches

#26 Late Night with David Letterman

#27 Chopper Squad

#28 CHiPs

#29 The BBC Grandstand Fight

#30 Rainbow

#30 Rainbow

#31 The Theme From Juliet Bravo

#32 Any and every documentary about James Hunt

Not yet placed...
Best Series Opening Ever
Gordon Brown leaving Downing Street technocrane shot
State Of Play
Arrested Development
Father Ted
Thames Television
The Crossroads Closing Titles Sequence
Capital City
Saturday Live
The Aaron Spelling Story
Mork and Mindy, the unauthorized story