Friday, 1 May 2015

I think up 50% more things that are Profane than Sacred... Comedy writing theory. Here's what I've got.



A toddler (sacred) who is a pig (profane) combines for the Babe stories and films (Sacred and Profane).

Every Friday I try to add to my lists of Sacred and Profane
- two extremes that are sometimes more funny or shocking or compelling because they're so wrong together.

What's weird is that on the big list I'm keeping (link below), I'm currently thinking up 50% more Profane things than Sacred.

SACRED

Palace
Ice sculpture
War monument
Paralympics
Native Americans
Children's books
Intensive Care Unit
Green Power
Organic
Raw fish
PROFANE

Spray paint
Industrial park/units
Vomit
Cheap booze
Reduced price
Mobile phone masts
Loyalty cards
Cracks/Cracked
Diggers
Open All Night

But the full list of Sacred and Profane is here...

Previous post...
My son blowing up my phone. With another gadget. (adventures of a #tightwaddad)


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Thursday, 30 April 2015

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

All about the hypermarket... (adventures of a #TightwadDad)



You know you're a tightwad Dad when...

You call it the hypermarket,

because that's the effect it has on the kids.


(By the way, love that we've got that Lidl freezer bag slung on the back of the Asda trolley.

So it's okay to mix up the brands when it comes to saving the envrionment.

Makes me want to drink in Starbucks with a Costa cup... live on the wild side.)


All my ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD are here

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Tightwad Dad ideas to change the world - backs of remote controls


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Monday, 27 April 2015

Tightwad Dad ideas to change the world - backs of remote controls



You know you're a tightwad Dad when...

You carry on coming up with #tightwaddad Ideas To Change The World:

Remote controls pre-fitted with sellotape over the battery flap.

For before the family snaps it off.


UPDATE. In the 3 days since that photo was taken.

The sellotape and the back are now broken and lost.

BETTER idea:

Make the backs of remote controls out of Sellotape to start with.



All my ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD here

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Dumbing down your speeches can touch more people, but how can you grade your words? (Cool stuff on the web)


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Sunday, 26 April 2015

Dumbing down your speeches can touch more people, but how can you grade your words? (Cool stuff on the web)



Love this... Someone introduced me to the Flesch-Kincaid readability scale

It's a way to size up the words you're using, and how hard they are to follow.
Or...
It's an algorithm which measures the sophistication of the language you are employing.


That first sentence
It's a way to size up the words you're using, and how hard they are to follow.



Scores a readability on the Flesch-Kincaid Scale of 95
Which is a 4th Grade US School reading level (understandable to 9-10 Year Olds)

And the other sentence...
"It's an algorithm to measure the sophistication of the language you are employing."

Scores a lower readability on the Flesch-Kincaid Scale of 57
Which is an 11th Grade US School reading level (understandable to 16-17 Year Olds)



(And I also like that the site measuring it shows this with the colour yellow instead of green...!)


Turns out, President Obama's last State Of The Union speech was pitched at the level of a 10th Grader (about a 14 Year Old)...

...and according to Vocativ that was his highest level of speech during his Presidency.

They created this graphic to show how that compares with other Presidents



The full details and interactive graphics for every year's speech are at this link to Vocativ's article here.


Stand-ups get this.

It's much easier to make an audience laugh at something if you use the shortest way to get the idea across...

- which often means the bluntest and plainest words.
If you have to work harder to register the words, they risk getting in the way of the joke. (One showrunner calls it "wordf**king" the script.)

Anyway, you can measure the readability of any website or block of text at read-able.com



Link here.


Gawd, that was a long post. Least my website's reading level is 5th Grade - understandable by 10-11 Year Olds.




Here's a link to all the other cool stuff I've found on the web

Previous post...
Comedy writing how to... Another list of things that are Sacred and Profane


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Friday, 24 April 2015

Comedy writing how to... Another list of things that are Sacred and Profane

Putting the wrongest things together is a handy excercise for comedy and drama writing.

Every Friday, adding to this big list of SACRED AND PROFANE.


(A carpark. Profane.)

SACRED

Nursery
Love which endures
Philanthropy
Paddle boats
Crops
Silence
Brotherly love
Home cooking
Cancer survivor
School project
PROFANE

Annual results
Mega-trucks
Tobacco
Litter
Conveyor belt
Multi-storey carpark
Jumbo 747
Toilet paper/tampons
Serial Killer
Reality shows

So... from these tiny lists, some first-grab sacred and profane combinations:

a reality show set in a nursery,
loving a serial killer (death row dames)
handing out free toilet paper
and a school project to grow the best tobacco.


But the full list of Sacred and Profane is here...

Previous post...
Yet even more Rules for our House 2015... The John Lewis-y one... #tightwaddad


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Thursday, 23 April 2015

Yet even more Rules for our House 2015... The John Lewis-y one... #tightwaddad



You know you're a tightwad dad when...

You have Yet Even More Rules For Our House 2015.

I was on the laptop, and my son asked me what I was looking at.

I'm looking at John Lewis.

"I hate John Lewis". he replied.

You do not hate John Lewis.

John Lewis is your best friend.
Oh, yeah.

No throwing.

Well done for adding that one already.

All my ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD here

Previous post...
Tightwad Dad ideas: how to do toilet roll holders... (adventures of a #tightwaddad)


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