Friday, 29 May 2015

How to write a more powerful idea by combining something sacred with something profane... big list here



An accoustic song (Sacred) to a dad (family love = Sacred)
about a JCB construction digger (Profane).

The JCB Song


There's a theory that you can get more powerful ideas if you combine something sacred with something profane.

Every week around this time, I'm adding to that big list on the link below.

Here's this week's ten Sacreds and Profanes...



Ancient Latin/Greek
Affection
Flame
Old Trees
Viola
Fountain pens/Quills
Grand Canyon
Perfect Meringue
Seeds and berries
Playful flirting


Construction site
Electric Guitar
Illuminated hoardings
Chernobyl
Land mines
Nightclubs
Pigeons
Cheating
Dirt Bikes
Pollution


The full list of Sacred and Profane is right here


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My Life in 100 Objects. #2 My Bolognese Top


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Thursday, 28 May 2015

My Life in 100 Objects. #2 My Bolognese Top

You know you've let yourself go in a relationship.
However diligent you are with the obvious stuff, tics start to creep in.
Tells.
And they're just there, uncommented upon.
Behold.



#2 My Bolognese Top

I guess having comfort-wear around the house is normal.
But this is purely practical.
It's called My Bolognese Top - for the obvious.

And sometimes while eating other stuff too.
Like curries.
It means my good stuff doesn't get stained, but man... I know deep down this sits completely in the category of slightly-off-trend shirts, torn pants and holey socks.

If you wouldn't wear it outside the house... you shouldn't be wearing it in it.

Anyway, it's my must-have for this season. For every season.
For the list...
This is my Bolognese Top.


All my ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD here

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Awkward Photos of Lakers Cheerleaders Meeting Awkward Men - Fave things on the web...


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Friday, 22 May 2015

Sacred and Profane... Terrible combinations for better ideas...



A toddler (sacred) who is a pig (profane) makes the Babe stories and films (Sacred and Profane).

You end up with more impact by putting something that's Sacred together with something that's Profane..



Palace
Ice sculpture
War monument
Paralympics
Native Americans
Children's books
Intensive Care Unit
Green Power
Organic
Raw fish


Spray paint
Industrial park/units
Vomit
Cheap booze
Reduced price
Mobile phone masts
Loyalty cards
Cracks/Cracked
Diggers
Open All Night

Adding 'em to the full list of Sacred and Profane here


Previous post...
My Life in 100 Objects. #1 Kevin Keegan branded shin pads.


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Thursday, 21 May 2015

My Life in 100 Objects. #1 Kevin Keegan branded shin pads.

Yet another list for the blog (my top 100 fave bits of TV has barely hit 30...). And it's probably because I know I need to start throwing some stuff out.
But here are the things I haven't.
Yet.



#1 A pair of Partick Kevin Keegan branded junior shin-pads c. 1983

Weird starting with this one. Because I hate football.
Mum bought me these for school (buying shin pads that probably ironically crippled her, financially). I think I must've worn them about three times.

My local team, Arsenal, wasn't really the place a Dad wanted to take his kid in the early 80s (and he's really into his football). So I never got into it like my mates did.
Maybe I'm just missing the gene: I get all my sports-viewing done in a solid month in real-time during the Tour De France (all my favourite clips from that here).

My writing partner completely nailed it that the sports I'm into are all about long endurance stuff, rather than a to-and-fro that repeats itself and goes nowhere. Might be the same reason I'm addicted to rickshaw run videos on youtube.



But I showed these to my son. Who loves them.
And this week wore them more times than I ever did. And I'm playing football with him in the back yard more than I ever did. And I've spent the past year writing a football cartoon for Cbeebies called Footy Pups.
We're going to change the name Mum wrote in them.
But here they are for one last time. Not mine any more.




All my ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD here

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Last Late Show with David Letterman? I remember my first Late Night Dave...


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Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Last Late Show with David Letterman? I remember my first Late Night Dave...



It was 1989, I was 17.

My mates suddenly started saying weird stuff like they were into Grace Jones or Simply Red, and now took themselves incredibly seriously.

Why weren't they funny any more?
Why weren't we goofing around?

Only months ago we'd been carrying each other around in Eurocrates, throwing board rubbers and hiding stuff on the window ledge.

My teenage angst was about the teenage angst.
The wallowiest of all.
But one night I'd videoed something, and the tape ran onto this by accident.

(this is a link to a dodgy VHS copy where the tracking is off running it at an annoying speed...)


(this is a better link, but it's only of the Robin Williams interview/stunt)


It was gone midnight on Channel 4... completely untrailed, and turned out only six were shown. (A mate only explained yesterday that it was to trial showcase their new NICAM stereo broadcasting system).

And everything made sense.
Teens usually latch onto a band or an album because it articulates what they think they're aligned to, what they want to express and how they see the world.

I didn't have an album or a band or a look.
I got this.

Dumb, abstract and wilful.
It made total sense.
I didn't know you could do that.

12-15-1989 Letterman Sandra Bernhard Viewer Mail


It just ran on in real time. It was so alien, I didn't understand half of it - and that was part of the joy.

It was all about the comedian's reaction to the item being funny, rather than the item itself needing to be funny.

The comedy we had was supposed to be world-leading, but it was entirely scripted.

And this New York underworld of the 1980's was a foreshadow of what was coming our way. We completely get many of the references on the show now.

I've probably watched less Dave since the Late Show started putting exclamation marks on their graphics into the breaks. (I don't think 80s Dave would've done that)

But the last edition is going out in the States tonight, and it just reminded me of how it helped me do what I do now.


Here's a link to my shrine of Dave clips click here

Previous post...
Companies want to see 2 utility bills on paper. But also want to stop sending out bills on paper. Heres my terrible Utility Bill Song


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Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Companies want to see 2 utility bills on paper. But also want to stop sending out bills on paper. Heres my terrible Utility Bill Song



Love how companies want to stop posting paper bills...

...at exactly same time every company also insists on seeing "2 Utility Bills" as proof of ID.


The problem is now ours. Thanks.

Our 2 utility bills that we have clung onto have become precious in our house.

So precious, we keep them in a special cabinet.

We should name them.

Trying to write a song about this.

The lyrics I've got are:

We're your two utility bills.
You keep us under lock and key.
For those evil sods at the credit check agency.

They know my nob size - and browsing history...
But they still want to see my two utility bills.

We're so very rare.
We're like William Hague's hair.

So very rare.
Like a reasonable train fare.

If your application's crap.
We've got a proper trap.
You'll never find us.
We're not on any map.

Bits of paper.
It's a proper caper.
We just want to find - our - two - where - are - you - U - tility Bills.



All my ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD here

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click here


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Monday, 18 May 2015

Why Freelancers charge the charges that they charge. In any field.



Love this article on Chortle by photographer Idil Sukan - and added it to my list of fave things on the web.

It looks like it's about the specifics of how much photography sessions really cost
- just to get that funny image for a comedian's billboard or flyer.

What it's really about is the value you can get between client and supplier and the services they could provide - in any field - if you took a more long-term approach to the relationship.
"These photos will be the primary portrayal of the comedian for at least 18 months, and can last really forever. The comedian will be known for their images. I'm still seeing my photos from five years ago be used on posters, press and brochures. They will help create a fan base, be shared on social media, represent everything the comedian is about. This is the first and foremost representation of the comedian to the whole world."

The full article is here


And all the links to my favourite stuff on the web that I want to keep tabs on, is here

Previous post...
It's embarrassing being the fan of something, and posting links to it. But heres more Seth Godin stuff I like...


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Sunday, 17 May 2015

It's embarrassing being the fan of something, and posting links to it. But heres more Seth Godin stuff I like...



It's embarrassing being the fan of something, and posting links to it.

But banking these in one place, with a little clip from each one,
so I can find them again...


The stories we tell ourselves
"I'm too old to make a difference, take a leap, change the game..." (Sometimes, I hear this from people who are 27 years old).
This is a seductive story, because it lets us off the hook. Obviously, the thinking goes, the deck (whichever deck you want to pick) is stacked against me, so no need to even imagine the failure that effort will bring. Better to just move along and lower my expectations."
Full post here

People are real, but the crowd disappoints
"Every crowd, sooner or later, will let you down.
The crowd contains a shoplifter, or a heckler, or an anonymous boor who leaves a snarky comment.
...Scale is overrated again and again."
Full post here


Five steps to digital hygiene
"Washing your hands helps you avoid getting sick...
Turn off mail and social media alerts on your phone.
Don't read the comments. Not on your posts or on the posts of other people. Not the reviews and not the trolls.
De-escalate the anger in every email exchange.
Spend the most creative hour of your day creating, not responding..."
Full post here


Without a keyboard
"When the masses only connect to the net without a keyboard, who will be left to change the world?

It is possible but unlikely that someone will write a great novel on a tablet."
Full "Without a keyboard" post here.


The beaten path
"Here's a common mistake: make something amazing and figure that people will beat a path to your door.

Or go to a retailer or a sales rep or a middleman and expect that they will offer your product or service to their customers and let you keep most of the profit.

The beaten path isn't something that happens to you, it's something you build. It's not something convenient, it is, in fact, the primary asset of your organization.

It's the last step, not the first.."
Full post here


That full list of Seth Godin posts is here

Previous post...
Its Friday, time to add to my list of things that are Sacred and Profane... Comedy writing theory...


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