Tuesday, 28 July 2015

How to earn a Silver, Gold, or Diamond Play Button on YouTube...



Love this - Looks like YouTube is now awarding buttons for subscribers...

100,000 subs for silver, 1 million for gold, 10 million gets diamond.

"How does it feel to earn the Silver, Gold, or Diamond Play Button?"



It's the relentless optimism of the YouTube community...

It's infectious.



I've got 11 subscribers.


I think that gets me a brown button.

Well I haven't exactly got it yet.

I need to make one.

Thanks to the kids, it'll almost definitely be "out of Hama beads".

And then I'll make a video of it.

All my ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD here

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Made a welcome video. Got attacked by an ostrich.


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Tuesday, 21 July 2015

Made a welcome video. Got attacked by an ostrich.



Finally got round to redoing the welcome video...
It's been bugging me for ages, because the last one is almost as old as my kids.

Edited it using youtube's in-built video editor, and put it on the "Dads With Action Cameras (with no action to point them at)" playlist.

Think it's come out alright.
Even if I didn't.




All my ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD here

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How I punish my son. With the Tour De France.


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Sunday, 5 July 2015

How I punish my son. With the Tour De France.



My son was misbehaving at bedtime.

So I punished him by making him watch an Individual Time Trial stage of the Tour De France.

The real-time coverage, not the edited highlights.

Poor thing. Barely kept his eyes open.

Here's some of my favourite Tour De France clips from over the years, all in a handy post...


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Writing more powerful drama and comedy... by combining Sacred and Profane...


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Monday, 29 June 2015

Writing more powerful drama and comedy... by combining Sacred and Profane...



It's a rock (natural = Sacred) with an LED light embedded in it (technology = Profane)

Or... is it light (Sacred) coming from a hard rocky surface (Profane)

When I'm not window-shopping for pointless garden ornaments in Robert Dyas, I'm adding to my big list of the Sacred and Profane.

There's a theory that if you combine these two extremes, you might get more powerful drama or funnier comedy.
(Or... more compelling lawn furniture).



Waterfall
Children's ward
Princess
Magic Wand
Fairies
Interests of the group
Choir
Floral tribute
Home-made
Juice


Bars
Heavy machinery
Fluorescent
Tumour
Alarm
Alloy
Face mask
Napalm
Booze
Plastic

The big fat list of Sacred and Profanes is here

Previous post...
Grab Bags and Value Statements, some more crappy phrases thrown at me this week. Enjoy!


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Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Grab Bags and Value Statements, some more crappy phrases thrown at me this week. Enjoy! #TightwadDad



Walkers Crisps have "grab bags".
They look exactly like a packet of crisps.

But they're not.
It's a "grab bag".



(Maybe it's to make it sound really active.
Though, looking at how many crisps are in there,
guess "packet" isn't exactly the right collective noun.)



Then Virgin Media sent me a "Value Statement".

Not a statement, but a "Value Statement".

Maybe the marketing agency that came up with Virgin Media's Value Statement,
risks coming off as a complete "Value Grab Bag".

See also:
PEACE OF MIND (the collection of pieces of peace of mind, sent to me by companies)

All my ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD here

Previous post...
Dads with action cameras (but no action to point them at) - THE WASHING UP


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Sunday, 14 June 2015

Sacred and Profane... putting together two wrong script ideas for something too right. Or to write.



Sacred and Profane.
A theory that sometimes helps with writing new ideas - you put two extremes together to make something with more impact.

Like bunging Slash from Guns and Roses, playing a heavy metal solo... on an electric guitar (profane, profane, profane)
Outside... beside a Church... on a mountain top (sacred, sacred, sacred).



In tune
Chicks
Medicine
Opera House
Vets
World Championships
Olympics
School Trip
Harvest
Baby items


Pepper-spray
Loudspeakers/Megaphone
Murder
Cockroaches
Motorway
Self-interest
Grotesque
Bricks
Dissolution
Out of tune

So from the 10 this week... Killer chicks... Baby toys made of bricks... Olympic Pepper-Spraying finals...

But the big fat list of Sacred and Profanes is coming together right here


Previous post...
Dads with action cameras, and what they film when they have no action to point them at.


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Monday, 8 June 2015

You can't have a fight in a 9pm British TV Drama without it going up against a bookcase...



You know when you are in a 9pm British TV Drama...

...because you can't have a fight indoors without it ending up against the nearest bookcase.

(It's Sacred and Profane - there's a load of them here)

And everyone else who is on your side is also wearing exactly the same accent colour (which for some reason is usually purple).



All my Dad Stuff For My Kids is here

Previous post...
My rant at a really dangerous street in Kings Cross London N1C


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