Is it possible to clear out a lifetime of memories in a single afternoon? Today is a big day at my dad’s flat as the Red Cross charity shop team arrives to help me let go of the furniture and belongings he left behind. I walk you through the items that are the hardest to part with, from a commissioned round table that cost thousands to a framed movie poster that represents our family history in King's Cross.
I also find a beautiful 1920s "His Master's Voice" 78 gramophone record player and some unexpected treasures hidden in the cupboards. This is about charting the real journey of bereavement and the practical steps of what happens after a parent goes.
Clearing Out Dad’s Flat: The Emotional Reality of Letting Go a Lifetime of Stuff
TRANSCRIPT: (CLICK PLAY ON THE VIDEO ABOVE)
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So, little update on what to do when your parent dies. I haven't updated in in quite a while. So, I'm at dad's flat again, and I think I've got some footage of what it looked like literally in the in the days after he passed away. The it looks a state because we tipped everything out. We got everything out of the drawers. And uh yeah, this is it. This is kind of what he left. And there's obviously all the stuff in the cupboard. I went through that nearly smashed my camera doing it. There's an old film camera. I I've never seen this before. I didn't know we we he had it. What? It's Oh, no. Well, that's irony, isn't it? But today is a big day because uh we've got the Red Cross coming round. Yeah, it's not that bad that the sending Red Cross team. Uh this is the the the charity shop and they're going to get rid of well for us they're going to spirit away hopefully fingers crossed as much stuff as possible. I'll show you what we've got. We've got this this table is and bench round bench. It's... I cannot tell you how this has been in his life for the last I don't know... must be about 15 years. He... he got it commissioned especially he saw it in the Sunday Times. He saw one like it and and thought that would be perfect for his place when he was living in London with uh with Mum at the time. And it costs thousands. It costs absolutely thousands. And it's always been too big for for wherever he's been. It's just too big. It doesn't look too bad on camera now, but it does. I've got a wide angled lens and it does take up most of the room, but it's really nice. and he'd just sit on the end of it and have his breakfast. I think that's probably the most painful thing to let go because I know that it was a big deal for him. And he's got the... the... the "Ladykillers" poster cuz uh we grew up in King's Cross. Uh that's where we lived and that's where he lived in a in a flat in King's Cross when uh when they moved into the social housing there on the King's Cross development. and he... he got this poster but didn't know what to do. So he got it framed um because the the... the movie The LadyKillers is is all based around King's Cross all based around the streets of Kings Cross which is very big in his life that area. Uh got this chair. There's a trouble getting rid of chairs. I mean, it completely works. But the... if you've ever tried to do this, give away a chair or furnishing, you probably know it absolutely has to have a tag on it, the... the fire safety tag. Even though I... I'... I'd say furniture has been made to that standard everywhere for the last 20 years. But, you know, I completely understand. They need the tag. And so I've got a feeling they're not going to take that, which is a shame because it is an absolute brute to get out of the room. I'm going to keep the IKEA armchairs. I actually we actually built them on the channel. Uh this is a bit of a reminisce for the the channel. Um so I'm going to keep those cuz they I like those even if I have them back at my house. I really really like them. We've got an old footstool from the leather chair that we destroyed. There was the uh the footstool which became crucial in later years for him when he sort of was falling over in the last year and a half. That would that... and that would cushion his blow as he... as he fell over and then I'd have to come around and uh uh pick him up if he managed to get a message to me. Uh so and then we've got loads of books. So, I'm hoping all the books, brand new lamp in the in that box that hasn't even been used. Um, what else have we got? Got this table. I'm hoping that will go. I'm going to put this on eBay. It's an It's an act abs It's a working I don't know what I'm trying to say. Uh, 78 record player. So, I might show you that later on. Then in here, finally stripped the bed like, you know, four months after it happened. This was how his room was still as he left it. But we've stripped everything out now. Um I'm hoping that drawers will go. I don't think that will go cuz the drawers are broken. And we've got all this gear from uh council social services. I don't know where it came from. I want to give it back to them because it's in really good condition, but I've got a feeling they don't take it back. I'm sure you'll tell me in the comments your experiences of these things. And then this wardrobe I... I do really want this wardrobe to go, but I don't think that's going to go today. That's okay. I can take that apart. Uh these two nice tables. It's like a little um yard sale I'm having on on camera. His wine rack that was always filled with wine. And that thing that was filled with books. This is from my childhood. Some family photos there. But we've got that. That's from my childhood. I remember that thing. That thing from the 1980s. I'm sure it will come back in again. It's in a bit of a state though. And this big ass table. Um I think is that it? I thought there was more than this. So that's good. So, anything that goes is going to be good because it'll free up space and it's just uh wow, it is quite a wrench emotionally though. I'm not attached to these items. Uh it would be really good to just get them out of our lives for them to move on and serve someone else hopefully. But I just I just some of them have been around since I was a kid and it's just weird saying I don't need it. I don't want it. I really do want to let it go. Especially that mirror. That mirror there. I wonder if I could find you any photos, some family photos of how that featured in our house above the really disgusting three bar fire uh in our in our house in King's Cross. This mirror it...
...every Christmas, so many Christmases it's in all our Christmas photos. I don't even like it. But uh I don't know. It just it just it just feels odd letting it go. But it's got to go. I... I... It's an ugly old thing and it doesn't spark joy when I when I see it or touch it. I've been trying to get rid of it even while dad was here. Uh oh, there's the pictures as well. I should put on some um gallery music, shouldn't I? There's Tenacious. I don't know. He really was into ships. He went sailing before uh me and my sister were born. So I wonder if I don't know sailing was was quite a thing for him. I think um he didn't really do it while he became a family man. But all his pictures are about ships. How... what are the pictures like in your house? They tell something that you've not really noticed? And my sister made these. I'm not parting with these. I don't know what I'm going to do with them, but she turned out family life into a photo story, which is kind of cool. Um, some really bad pictures in there. Over here is the 78 record player. Let me uh flip the camera around. And inside I need to pull it away. This was always the problem. So, there's a bit of a design issue with it. I think it's from the 1920s. Uh I don't know if you can see that there. Bit of a design issue with it cuz you have to pull it forward for the cuz the lid doesn't clear, but that locks into place. And there's the arm. It's got a crank handle here. I mean, I used to play with this as a kid, so um I might have broken it a long time ago. And the crank handle goes in there and you you wind it up this way. I don't know if that still works. And then there's a speed control here. So, it's fast and slow. I love this sign here. Close lid whilst playing. And his master's voice.
There's a his master's voice. I don't know what you call it. Tone arm. Look how beautiful that is. And then it clicked in. So it's got some kind of automatic way of playing things. Got some records here. Cool water by Frankie Laine. Oh, I know that song. "All day I Face the barren Waste... Without the Taste of Water. Oh, it's cracked. What a shame. Oh, I'd love to play that. And then underneath there's some storage I guess for records. But is there anything in there? What was in here? It's a new nook and cranny. Oh, I think he was looking for this door stopper. Now we find it. You've got that door stopper instead, which is a... a load of um sort of fake 50 notes. So it looks like you got cash wedging under the door. And then there's a box here. I wonder what's in this box. Let's have a look. Oh, just candles. You always hope that, you know, it'll be like a box of money or something, don't you? Candles. Lots and lots of colourful candles. Oh, that's lovely. And a very old tennis ball.
I just thought I'd share these things with you because, you know, you might be going through this yourself. It's just things, isn't it? It really is just things. And I think that's the biggest thing that um I've learned over the last what is it 5 months. It's only 5 months since it happened. The things are meaningless. They really are. And there's going to be so much. It's going to be so nice to just have some space in here. And uh we'll figure out what we're going to do with this place. But um I just wanted to share this because I'm charting the journey of of what happened from when he died and onwards and what what actually happens from there because we don't really talk about it. I've not really seen much of it on on YouTube. Maybe no one wants to watch it. So if you reach this point of the video, thank you for hitting the thumbs up button or the subscribe button. It really means so much to me and really helps me to keep this channel going. And right here are um well, it's what YouTube thinks you want to watch next.
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