Monday, 29 September 2014

Heres the problem, son - people are scared - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

- Heres the problem, son - people are scared -



Here's the problem, Son.
You are very clever.
It's a bit rude to say to people "I'm really clever".
But you know you shouldn't do that because you are very clever.
Mummy is very clever.
Your Sister is very clever - even though she's only 3.
And I am really clever. I think.

We live in a world that looks like it has people who aren't very clever.
But they are just scared of what will happen if they show how clever they are.
So people are shy, or afraid to say they "don't know" the answer to a question.
Or copy what other people do, so that they can fit-in and won't look silly.

They want to hide how clever they can be.
So we watch people on telly, who do things that aren't very difficult.
Or who try to do exactly what they are told.
Or try to be 'picked' for something, by someone who says they are a judge.



But you know, because you are clever, that you should never let anyone judge you.

If someone doesn't let you in to something... why not start your own thing.

And be the best at that.



They say the country is run by people called politicians.
They speak slowly, and say things that they think people want to hear.
But because they are trying to hide that they are clever, they think that they can't say that they don't know the answer to something.
Or that they've changed their mind.

It's okay to change your mind.
And it's okay to look things up.
And it's very okay to ask people what they think. They like to be asked.
It doesn't have to change what you choose to do.


All my 2014 Dad Stuff For My Kids is here

Previous post...
Heres the problem, son - people are scared - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS


Get these posts direct by email here...

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Even more sacred and profane... things that are wrong together...


It's a basic idea in comedy that when you combine something sacred with something profane, something funny might come out the other side.

SACRED



Golden
Head Office
Hymen
Fashion model
Catwalk
Nature
Summer’s day
Breast milk
Humanity
Rose petals
PROFANE



Toxic chemicals
Explosion
Bombing
Bulldozer
Prison
Ink stain
Bottom
Guns
Robots
Thorns



So I'm banking these lists of Sacred and Profane here...

Previous post...
Im now the same age as Jacko from Brushstrokes was - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS


Or get these posts direct by email here...

Monday, 22 September 2014

Im now the same age as Jacko from Brushstrokes was - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

- I’m now the same age as Jacko from Brushstrokes was -



Just realised that I’m now the same age that Jacko from Brushstrokes was when a girl turned him down in a bar for being too old.

They should make a greetings card for that.





All my 2014 Dad Stuff For My Kids is here

Previous post...
Unwritten dinner time rules #1 - Adventures of a TightwadDad


Get these posts direct by email here...

Friday, 19 September 2014

LOOM BANDS TOILET SEAT - the latest act of art from our Friday Night Gallery of Toddler Art

So we're back to adding new items to our Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery...
"Our kids basically destroying our house, one room at a time."

Tonight we unveil...

#67 LOOM BANDS TOILET SEAT

Loom Twister HGL Loom Bands, Red, Black, Yellow, Orange; with Tesco Picnic Fork; on Focus DIY (R.I.P.) Wooden Toilet Seat, Antique Pine



This was THE new medium for this year.

It's hard to tell if the even scattering of Loom Bands around the house is intentional or accidental.

This is the first work that can be confirmed as deliberate.



And its unfinished state reinforces the sense of irony we've come to expect from The Artists.

Mmmmmm. Can't wait to get that fork back down to where it belongs from the toilet.


Our entire collection of toddler art is all here...

Leave a comment or tweet us a pic if you've got any Toddler Art to share!

Previous post...


Follow me by email - it really helps keep this blog going

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

I'm a Tightwad Dad with 45p can of arm spray and a pen. Any design ideas to make it look like 2.99? - #TightwadDad

- I'm a Tightwad Dad with 45p can of arm spray and a pen. Any design ideas to make it look like 2.99? (PART TWO) -











ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD are all here...

Previous post...
The Greatest Generation - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS


Get these posts direct by email here...

Monday, 15 September 2014

Thinking up the next Red Magazine Brag-ticle business ideas for my wife - #TightwadDad

- Thinking up the next Red Magazine Brag-ticle business ideas for my wife -



Life in 2014:
I haven't read my Wife's Red Magazine much - but when I do - they always have articles about someone who’s moved with to the country their husband (because of his job) and is bringing up their many kids while also successfully starting up an innovative and successful business.

I want to impress my missus by coming up with other self-start-up business ideas that would attract a Red Magazine braggy article (Bragticle).

But so far I've only come up with:
Making bespoke cupcake cases.

Engineering the perfect bread bin.

Trainer Tailoring.

Car Interiors Feng-Shui.

Shelf Storage Architect.

Designing Handbag-bags (bags for handbags).

Bikini Topiary.


One day I'll crack it.

ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD begins right here...

Previous post...
WHICH WAY UP? - the new thing in our Friday Night Late Night GRANDY Art Gallery...


Get these posts direct by email here...

Friday, 12 September 2014

WHICH WAY UP? - the new thing in our Friday Night Late Night GRANDY Art Gallery...

#66 WHICH WAY UP? - Friday Night Grandy Art Gallery

Paint, various, on wood, source unknown.

This is our first piece of "Grandy" art.

Any ideas? Which way up is your favourite?



We were tipping out an old workbench - used continuously by The Artists' Grandy.

And, to us, we just couldn't look away from it.



Those paint rings. Those notches.

He did that.



Trouble is, we have no idea which way up it should go.


Our entire collection of toddler art is all here...

Please feel free to leave me a comment or tweet me any of your Toddler Arts.

Previous post...


Follow me by email - thanks, it really helps me keep this going

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

More stuff from my lists of the sacred and the profane...

A good way to sometimes find the funny, is to slam together something that is sacred with something that is profane.

The high and the low.

So I'm building the lists, and here is the next batch.

By the way, I've been jazzing these up with pictures... but this one was slightly difficult.

The best I could come up with for "Priest" was a picture of Michael Landon from Highway To Heaven.

And for tattoos... I for a moment wondered if someone had ever got a tattoo of Michael Landon.

I love my work. Behold.

SACRED



Clergy
Bishop
Priest
Angels
Choir
Art Gallery
Library
Museum
Playground
Church
PROFANE



Skid mark
Brown mud
Fertilizer
Bad smell
Prolapse
Colostomy bag
Flood
Tattoos
Soot
Smoke


Complete list of Sacred And Profane banked here

Previous post...
I'm a Tightwad Dad with 45p can of arm spray and a pen. Any design ideas to make it look like 2.99?


Or get these posts direct by email here...

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Im a Tightwad Dad with a pen. Any design ideas for this can? #TightwadDad


- I'm a Tightwad Dad with 45p can of arm spray and a pen. Any design ideas to make it look like 2.99? -














All ADVENTURES OF A TIGHTWAD DAD will appear here

Previous post...
Adventures of being a Tightwad Dad - #TightwadDad


Get these posts direct by email here...

Monday, 8 September 2014

Adventures of being a Tightwad Dad - #TightwadDad



#TightwadDad
I’m not a hippie, a communist, or an entrepreneur.

I am a tightwad Dad.

It’s difficult typing those words, because “you only had one job”.

To provide for your family.

So to me, it’s funny that I simultaneously have to hold back spending.

I’ve got every company in the country trying to get its mitts into our bank account - mostly by direct debit.

I have weak moments.
And every day my beautiful long-suffering Wife tolerates my half-arsed ideas, opinions and schemes.

So I’ll try and capture my efforts and skirmishes with companies to see if I ever get to the point where I can beat #Daddanomics and stop being a #TightwadDad.

At the weekend, I bought a can of antiperspirant for 45p.

Previous post...
TWO LINES FROM MY DOCTOR'S DESK - another fine mess on our walls of Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery


Get these posts direct by email here...

Friday, 5 September 2014

TWO LINES FROM MY DOCTOR'S DESK - another fine mess on our walls of Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

"Basically, our kids destroying our home, one work of art at a time..."
On more thing from Our Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery...

After the Summer Break, we'll have a new entry next week.

But let's keep recapping the Gallery so far:

#8 - TWO LINES FROM MY DOCTOR'S DESK



Standard Bic Biro (black) on B&Q Value Matt Emulsion

At first glance this is a simple design, but if we look closer we'll see The Artists have arranged a playful vignette of a Doctor's Desk scenario to call the work out into a third dimension.

"Maybe the doctor was waming up a pen. Maybe the doctor got bored and wanted to see what this does. It's a biro and it works."

The clinical lines give a level of restraint and even order to this work which should be commended.

The full Friday Night Toddler Gallery Of Toddler Art is free and it is here... Enjoy!

(Send me one of yours! Or leave a comment below or send a tweet...)

Previous post...
These 3 men and their different lives - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS


Following me by email really helps me keep this blog going - thanks!

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

More of my lists of things that are sacred and profane...

A basic theory of comedy is that one way to find the funny is to couple the sacred with the profane.

So here's the next installment of the lists I'm knocking up...

SACRED



Infant school
Teacher
Recycling
Saving energy
Sterilizer
Royalty
Princess
Prince
Queen
King
PROFANE



Spying
Secrets
Exhaust
Goths
Bikers
Motorcycles
Debt
Cess pit
Portaloo
Loud music


Complete list of Sacred And Profane banked here

Previous post...
What is school for?


Or get these posts direct by email here...

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

What is school for?


Back to school everybody!

Productivity!

And what is school for?


"Grades are an illusion... passion and insight are a reality"

"Your work is more important than your congruence to an answer key."

"Persistence in the face of a sceptical authority figure is priceless, and yet we undermine it."

"Fitting in is a short-term strategy that gets you nowhere.
Standing out is a long-term strategy that takes guts and produces results."

"If you care enough about your work, to be willing to be criticised for it, then you have done a good day's work."

All the quotes and the manifesto for "Stop Stealing Dreams" posted here

Added this to my online shrine to Seth Godin - a bunch of my favourite quotes & links collected here

Previous post...
25p price differences on restaurant menus - more Daddanomics


Get these posts direct by email here...

Monday, 1 September 2014

25p price differences on restaurant menus - more Daddanomics

25p price differences on restaurant menus



I'm obsessed with the 25p price differentials on restaurant menus...
Usually in the starters and desserts.

I'm actually weighing up my choice, thinking something might be better because it's 25p more.

It's like choosing the chocolates in the box that have got the foil wrapper on.


Daddanomics - the economics of being a tightwad dad: more here.

All my 2014 Dad Stuff For My Kids is here

Previous post...
PENCIL FOOD OH - more from the messed up walls that are our Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery


Get these posts direct by email here...