Sunday, 18 December 2011

Top 10 Upsides Of Recovering From A Boris Bike Crash

Top 10 Upsides Of Recovering From A Boris Bike Crash


10
Face looks like a themed Google logo. Changes by the day.

9
Being known to a handful of healthcare professionals affectionately as ‘that bloke who had the Boris Bike crash’.

8
Talking like Louis Spence.

7
Chunks falling off face like an maxillofacial advent calendar. Festive.

6
Patronising kids in the supermarket who stare to ‘always wear a bike helmet’, like some kind of deranged 1950s superhero.

5
Looking like a vagrant whose stuff never gets touched. Also festive.

4
Hours spent concussed equals hours not spent hearing about Eurozone crisis.

3
Drinking through a straw makes 2 year old son feel superior.

2
Finally being able to look my hero Erik Estrada in the eye. We know what this is like.

1
Looking like a Hitler cat. Or the bloke from Sparks. Or Blakey from On The Buses.





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