Monday, 8 April 2019
Life Insurance So My Family Can Carry On Spending #TightwadDad 063
I am a #TightwadDad and making my family happy with...
- Life insurance.
“In the event of my death, my family can carry on spending.”
- Coffee Shop Chain Coffee Shop: Decaf coconut latte.
“I was grumpy because they’ve gone back to charging my collapsible reusable bucket (LINK) as ‘large’.
Right up until an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair sat opposite me.
Obviously, he sat opposite.
It’s not like he could cartwheel.
He then started the loudest phonecall that’s ever hit my ears about
“REMOVING THE BLOCK ON MY ANSWERPHONE.”
The mobile phone company call centre worker spoke excellent English, but the script he was following was complete gibberish.
Which meant they fell into this jawdropping loop that wouldn’t stop.
“I NEED YOU TO REMOVE THE BLOCK ON MY ANSWERPHONE.
Okay can I take you through security please?
NO, CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE OFF THE BLOCK ON - MY - ANSWERPHONE.
Okay but first I need to take you through security please.
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU.
I NEED YOU TO REMOVE THE BLOCK ON MY PHONE MESSAGES.
Okay but we need to complete security please.
CAN YOU DO IT?
I’M NOT GETTING MY ANSWERPHONE.
I NEED YOU TO REMOVE THE BLOCK.
Right but I need you to complete some security questions first.
By this point, the entire coffee shop stopped what they were doing.
(Which wasn’t that much, but we were all rapt.)
So first, I’m going to need the last 4 digits of the card which you pay with.
THE LAST 4 DIGITS?
I HAVEN’T GOT THAT CARD WITH ME.
We were all now - every last person in that coffee shop - completely rooting for the elderly gentleman in the wheelchair.
A woman stepped forward and offered to act as translator between the age-experienced gentleman and the excellent English-as-a-mastered-second-language call centre worker to broker a break to the deadlock.
I get back from the toilet, and the woman’s reading digits from a bank card down his phone.
“6 - 6 - 3 - 1. Thank you.
No... I’m not related. I’m just a woman in the coffee shop trying to help.
She passes the phone back to the Elderly Gentleman.
“You need to say the numbers.
SIX. SIX. THREE. ONE.”
They say that community has broken down.
But from here, for about 10 minutes, it’s looking pretty strong.
It looks like we are pretty united - call-centre worker included - united against the forces keeping us apart.
All of us have been in that elderly gentleman’s wheelchair.
Maybe the way to bring things round to how they could be, is to repeatedly shout
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU.
If we all did that, the next time we want
If absolutely all of us in the world did that the next time we need something fixed...
Can you imagine what we could achieve?
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOU.”
WHAT IS A POMELO? #TightwadDad 062
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