Sunday, 10 March 2019

I want a fluorescent yellow hat #TightwadDad 034

My Long-Suffering Wife made the unfortunate mistake of asking me what I’m thinking.

Of course, we hold back in these situations.
Because she's just checking she knows what’s in there anyway.

But I went for it:
“This is actually what’s going on in my head.

Our town council is so poor, the private company bin men come over from another county town 20 miles away and empty our beautiful but bloated streets in one concerted hit.

Our bin men are brilliant.
Even though they’re not ‘our’ bin men.

And I know that should be gender neutral, but the bin men on our street never change.
To deny their gender choice seems... disrespectful.

But the thing I like about them the most is their hi-vis wooly hats.

And I want one.

I don’t know why but my phase of bright colours stopped suddenly.

I’m now into greys and navy blues.
Maybe it’s my broken toe.

Maybe it’s a good sign that it’s getting better.
That I want the bright colours again.

Okay, here’s the idea:
These bright yellow hats are company-issued, and staff are selling them off on Ebay.

I could get one off Ebay.

And I’m bothered that don’t have a problem with that.

I pay council tax, which goes straight into the pockets of the couple of companies which do this in the UK.
I practically deserve a bright yellow hat as a bent kickback.

Turns out it’s actually quite hard to find.

I’m looking up hi-vis hat, and Ebay is showing me loads of Royal Mail worker hats.

I’d dress up as a Postman - but the colour scheme’s really down.

I’ll look up hi-vis yellow hat instead.
And the company name with all the combinations I can think of.

But nothing.
Not even on the completed listings.

These bin men are good.
Loyal to their company.
If the company provide them.

I could just buy one of the unbranded ones.
They’re only a few quid.

Okay... I can offer the bin man some money to buy his.
But then they won’t be seen properly and might get hurt.

Okay. I need to think this through.

I look up the other Bin Man company.
Yep, their staff are selling their hats.

Maybe we do have the best other Bin Man company.

So there, now you know what’s in my head.

But regrettably, not what's on it.”

I am a #TightwadDad and finding happiness for my family with...

- German supermarket chain supermarket shop: Chicken and ice cream.
“Short checkout line, no incidents.”

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