Saturday, 21 April 2018

What if I list my top 5 near death experiences for a laugh? 3 Bedroom light switch #WeAreTheProblem

I overthink everything to make the world a happier place

What if I list my top 5 near death experiences for a laugh?

5. Racing Sammy up the council estate slide.
4. Canal boat crush.
3. Bedroom light switch.
2. Lake Tahoe police shootout.
1. Boris Bike crash.


My teenage bedroom was decorated and I can't remember how but I think Mum had taken off the main light switch to paint around it.

It was off the wall for a few days, and I know she told me not to touch the bare wires.

I also knew I was way too old to know that already.

By the way this is Mum who told me at midnight when I went downstairs moaning
"Mum, I don't know why but I'm really itchy?"
"Oh yeah, I tried making a padded headboard for your bed for free."
"What... with that insulation from the Housing Association for our roof?"
"It's glass fibre!"
"I know. It didn't work out very well."

Anyway, you know when you go into a room for 10 years and without thinking about it reach for the wall?

I did and BOOM!

Near death experience number 3.

What have I learned?
Mum is where I got all my creativity.
We were close.
Like Kato and Clouseau.

Tomorrow's near death experience, Lake Tahoe police shootout.

Previous post...
What if my top 5 Near Death Experiences make a good list? #4 CANAL BOAT CRUSH #WeAreTheProblem

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