Sunday, 19 November 2017

How to deal with sales cold calls. Reply to Every. Single. One. #DadDirt



DAD’S phone stops ringing. He’s glum.

DAD
(lightbulb)
I’d better reply to all these.
Every single one.

MONTAGE: DAD bashing furiously into his phone in various situations, in various rooms of the house. MUSIC.

DAD (VOICEOVER)
(typing)
I’m sorry I didn’t pickup your sales call just now.
I was beating my 6 year old son.
On a really tricky loom band design.

(typing)
I’m sorry I missed your sales cold call.
I was making a tea for my wife with the chipped mug, and gave her decaf without telling.

(typing)
Sorry... missed your sales call.
Transfixed by a pair of pigeons outside who are clearly gay and in love.

(typing)
...Was sniffing coconut milk in the fridge with no idea how you tell if it’s off.
Do you know?

(typing)
I was gazing in hushed awe at your Chief Exective and lost an entire day.

(typing)
I didn’t get to your sales call in time.
We were swimming with dolphins.
Not really.
Eating some toast.

(typing)
I was hyp-MO-TIZE by the light in the microwave.
Feel too prone for your marketing tactics.

(typing)
I picked up a Weetabix thinking it was the phone.
Lesson learned.

(typing)
Sorry I missed your sales call.
I was making sweet love with my angry wife.

(typing)
“Some lightning hit me on the bum.
Then it fell off.”
(This might have been written by the kids).

DAD high-fives his KIDS.
MUSIC ENDS.

Previous post...
Government wants my kids in school, but it won't feed them. #DadDirt


All about me, and getting these by email.

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