Monday, 6 November 2017
Forget Contactless Payments... Too slow. Introducing, Meaningless Payments #DadDirt
First we brought you the credit card.
No need to bring cash.
Just spend as much as you want, when you want.
You’d think that would be the step forward, but no.
It took far - too - long...
COCKY CUSTOMER TYPES IN PIN DIGITS: SHOOTS CASHIER A KNOWING SMILE.
Then we brought in Chip And Pin.
No signatures, biros, or slips.
For you, it takes just four digits.
For us, that still feels something like, for - ever.
OTHER SHOPPERS PRISING OPEN WALLETS AND PURSES AND ASKING “DO YOU TAP IT HERE?”
So, we developed Contactless Payments.
Where “a tap is all it takes”.
And now you’re fumbling in your wallets, standing around asking if the reader works.
Are you kidding me?
Surely there must be an even quicker way to get to your money...
SHOPPERS AT TILLS AT THE MOMENT OF PURCHASE: CUSTOMER APPROACHES THE CHECKOUT COUNTER.
Well finally, there is.
We are proud to be rolling out our latest, and fastest, way for you to pay...
THE CUSTOMER HEAD BUTTS THE PAYMENT MACHINE.
Introducing Mindless Payment Technology.
ANOTHER CUSTOMER HEADBUTTS THE PAYMENT MACHINE. UPBEAT MUSIC.
Without a card, why waste a moment thinking about your next transaction?
MORE CUSTOMERS, BANGING THEIR HEADS ON COUNTERS AND CHECKOUT READERS...
With Mindless Payments, the transfer of funds is instantaneous.
You don’t even need a reason to be spending on stuff.
A WOMAN HEAD BUTTS A PC MONITOR SCREEN.
You can make Mindless Payments in all kinds of places.
Shops, bars, cafes, garages or the comfort of your own home.
KIDS ON THE SOFA BANG THEIR HEADS ON TABLETS.
Mindless Payment Technology.
An even faster way to pay.
Give us your money.
How to tell my kids why boobs and willies are still measured in inches? #DadDirt 169-175
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