Monday, 16 October 2017

Wifes checklist for hubbys affair lady #DadDirt



In the supermarket aisles... DAD is pushing the trolley. MUM pulls him sideways.

MUM
Quick, over there. Don’t look.
(ON THE QUIET)
It’s the affair lady.

There’s an ATTRACTIVE 30-SOMETHING WOMAN.

DAD
That’s her job?

MUM
No, that’s what Claire calls her.

DAD tries not staring.

DAD
She’s the one on the left?

MUM
She’s the one who went off with that other Dad, and now they’re splitting up.
If you were to have an affair with someone like that, then at least I’d know, well, I can’t look like that so there’s nothing I could’ve done about it anyway.

DAD
And if she didn’t look like that...
(THEN)
I mean you look lovely.

MUM
If she wasn’t good-looking... I don’t think I could cope with that.

MUM considers a wall of coffee, but DAD’S head is grinding.

DAD
You mean, if I am going to have an affair. You want it to be with someone attractive.

MUM
I don’t know what I’d think if she wasn’t attractive. It’d probably be more upsetting. If she was plain - it’d mean there was something there that’s probably love. And that’s more hurtful.

DAD
So you want me to only go off with horny women.

MUM crosses out to shop on.

MUM (OS)
She’s not that hot.


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We've all got a hobby thats someone elses job #DadDirt


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