Thursday, 6 July 2017

Got points. BACK OFF. My idea for a rear window banner to stop people driving up our bum #DadDirt



You know that you are a Great British Dad when...
...you have to deal with everyone else's Road Rage.


Unstacking the dishwasher with my Long-Suffering Wife (LSW).

ME
How did it go?

LSW
It was grim. A lot of videos of real crashes.

I glaze over for the anecdotes about Motorway crashes, but jolted up by some paperwork..

LSW
This was funny though, look at this.
Question 4: "What are the risks of speeding?"
And I'm going "Fines, Court, Points, Inconvenience..."

and then I'm like, oh yeah. No. Other people...

"Injuries, Accidents, Fatalities..."


We giggle over the injuries, accidents and fatalities.

LSW
I drove back and there was someone up my bum the whole way.

ME
I want to make a banner for the rear window.
“GOT POINTS. BACK OFF.”

LSW
But I haven’t got any points.

ME
I know.

LSW
That’s the whole point of Driving School.

ME
I know.

LSW
To avoid the points.
(THEN) And drive better.

ME
I just think it’s got impact.
Big fat font.
GOT POINTS. BACK. OFF.

LSW
Maybe the “back off” is a bit blunt?

ME
Instead of a “Baby On Board” sign,
“Insurance Premium Risk On Board”.

LSW
Too wordy.

ME
“How’s My Driving... Licence?
At risk. Back off.”

LSW
Too rude and too wordy.

ME
Written in the dirt:
“I wish my wife’s licence was this filthy.”

LSW
That doesn’t make sense.

ME
What about a picture of a car crash scene?

LSW
It’d have to be really big.

ME
A picture of me in a neck brace?

LSW
Yeah, I like that. I wouldn’t go near it.

ME
“Back off” would be easier.

LSW
Whatever.


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I say Vote Yourself. But I'm a walking coalition. And 155-161 other bits of #DadDirt


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