Tuesday, 21 March 2017

My DIY will kill my kids. But maybe its not so bad. #DadDirt

You know that you are a Great British Dad when...
...you wonder if your DIY will kill your entire family.

I finally put up the big mirror in the living room.

Every time I do something like this, I worry.

“Will it fall off the wall and kill the kids?”

Happily, they are older now, so it will probably only maim them.

And I've got a 50/50 chance it will injure either or both.

If the worst happens now I’ve written this, here, it will probably get dredged up by an Insurance Company or National Newspaper.

And next to me in the sidebar of shame will probably be pop-up ads for DIY superstore chains. So some good will come from the tragedy.

In fact, it will be selfish of me not to put things up on the walls.

All those jobs, industry and economic growth are now also hanging on those bolts.

Those bolts screwed in so tight, you’d have to knock down the house to get to them.

Maybe that’s the National Disaster that will happen. Some light aircraft hitting our family home, with a Black Box recorder showing very clearly... those bolts stayed true.

And why do we even need a mirror?
My very children being put in harm’s way, for what?

But judging by the state of my kids, and how they look right now...

They aren’t ever going to be hit by a falling mirror.

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Nine reasons why I shouldn’t buy a Lacie. A POEM. #DadDirt

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