Tuesday, 28 March 2017

My daughter called Mummy a Bum Monkey. Legally we can now use this and 127-133 other Dad Dirt

Here are my thoughts, ideas, and Dad Dirt for this week.

Monday 27th March
My daughter called Mummy a Bum Monkey.
Legally, this can now go down on every form as “Occupation”.

Tuesday 28th March
Words that only politicians use: cowed.
They seem pretty obsessed by it.
So much, that it makes me feel kind of cowed.

Wednesday 29th March
Idea: Making myself sound more grand to call centres by adding the word “Mister” before my name.

Thursday 30th March
I bought a book in a shop like I am online.
I made the staff fetch it to me on zero hours contract and didn't let them go to the toilet.

Friday 31st March
I once had to break up with someone, Neil, because they kept saying my name every 8 words. Neil, it was like a verbal chokechain.

Saturday 1st April
People say they’ve been badly stung, when the wasp actually did it quite well.

Sunday 2nd April
Here's how to forget these words.
“Don’t let me forget. I’ve put the beers in the freezer.”

Previous post...
Stealing just one more princess story from my daughter. In case it makes money. #DadDirt

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