Friday, 18 November 2016
His name is X**. Not X*****. Going long on your Birth Certificate? #BritishDadStuff
You know that you are a Great British Dad when...
...you're fed up calling our kids by their official name, not their normal one.
(I've tried to protect my son's electronic footprint in here.
But X***** has a kind of ring to it)
The most annoying thing about having a baby is everyone offering their "advice" and memories.
While you're just trying to get on with it.
But I'll offer this anyway, in case it helps.
Ollie is a beautiful man name. And you might want him to be called Oliver.
But if you're already calling him Ollie and you think he'll always mostly be called Ollie - this is what happened to us.
We registered X** as X*****.
Because it's proper, it's not embarrassing, and looks good.
You could imagine a X***** X***** Mossey building a bridge, or publishing a book.
Except pretty quickly he was X**. Always X**. We don't even call him X***** when we're telling him off.
Anyway, starting with every bed visit when he was born - virtually every interaction "How is X*****?" "It's X**, thank you - he's great." Every doctor, midwife, and Health Visitor visit X*****... "Thanks, no it's X**."
And then Nursery. "Hello X*****" It's X**. Can we change it to X** please?
Injections, more regular nurse visits - "X**. No really it's okay, you can call him X**."
And then school. Parents Evening and his pictures on the wall: "X***** Mossey".
Ahh, look, there's his coat hook.
"X***** Mossey." But it's X**.
Visit the teacher. "X** is doing good."
Great. Phew. "Look, here are his books."
All labelled X***** Mossey.
IT'S %^+#ING X**.
HAVE I GOT TO CHANGE HIS NAME BY %^+#ING DEED POLL?
X**. X - * - *. IS THAT TOO DIFFICULT FOR YOU OFFICIOUS FORM %^+#ERS?
"Neil, we're in an infant school."
AND 3 LETTERS IS TOO %^+#ING HARD TO CALL HIM BY HIS %^+#ING NAME?!
Of course, I'm angry at myself.
We've got to comply with the healthcare system and an education system and other governmental and private company systems that follow the rules, for a reason. (The reason being to make it run more efficiently, rather than acting in your benefit with creative caring humanity).
So my advice is this.
You'll give him a name - a beautiful name.
But if you're calling him an even better one, you might want to think about that when you're registering him.
That oak panelled registration room or council corner office shouldn't distract you from who he is, rather than who you think you should say he could be.
He can always change it by Deed Poll.
Which, thinking about it is what I want to do right now.
His name is X**.
(On the form, I should probably maybe also change my occupation to "Angry Man").
My complete guide to Understanding Your British Dad is coming together here
My letter to a major public company CEO, from me, Daddy CEO #BritishDadStuff
Talking of names and registering, I send out one post every day by email for free. It really helps me to write one every day when I know it's arriving in someone's inbox, so thanks for trying it out. The link to sign up and get them is here....