Thursday, 15 September 2016
Do I use too much email filler? #BritishDadStuff
You know that you are a Great British dad...
...when you worry if you use too much lightweight mimsy email filler.
This was always a tension between me and a friend.
How flowery is flowery?
"Hello. How are you? All good I hope. I hope your day/week/month is going well... All going good here. Keeping my head down. Staying busy. Keeping myself out of trouble..."
You get on with this person - enough to be emailing each other - so why all the hope?
If you had a choice between wanting their work, or their day, or their life to be going well... or not going so good... isn't it probably a given that... between the two... you're sort of likely to be on their side already?
Do they really need email confirmation of this?
"how are you doing? hope you're okay..." - it's so shorthand, how thoughtful is it anyway?
But then it's rude not to ask.
Maybe it'd freak them out to start getting specific.
"How's your mental health? Are you feeling horny? Do you have any issues you think you might be missing?"
And if they're going through loads of emails - isn't it less rude to keep it brief and to the point?
Wouldn't it be kinder to not fill their time with a row of needy easy questions?
Someone once showed me how their ultimate boss - the CEO of the company - replied to their very long and important email about their department and profits for the firm.
And this reply, from the CEO, it was barely eight words long.
It was beautiful.
A work of Art.
Like some kind of businessman haiku.
Do I want to come off all Alpha... just barking out the bare minimum?
Yes. Absolutely yes.
Because then I'd have more time and I could send more emails.
To all the people I don't care about and whose day I genuinely hope is going badly.
Hope it's all going well. Looking forward to seeing you again very soon. Speak later. All the best.
My complete guide to Understanding Your British Dad is coming together here
All DIY is just about covering up stuff - #BritishDadStuff