Sunday, 8 May 2016
I can feel pylon power cables in my head. What a rubbish super-power to have. #BritishDadStuff
You know you are a Great British Dad...
...when you realise that you have a super-specific super-power.
I went on a school sponsored walk yesterday, and it was round a village on some country lanes.
The route criss-crossed a couple of times under some National Grid pylons.
Here's the thing - there's no easy way of writing this.
I can feel the power in my head when I go under power cables.
No-one else says they can, and so I think I'm a little nuts for saying it.
When we're driving on the A3 - I can feel every power cable we drive under - like it's something stroking my head.
It's so messed up that I reckon I can even feel when the cables aren't fully energised (which you'd think would be the very way to prove that I can't feel it at all).
But I'm going to say it again - I can feel electricity in my head when I am under pylon cables.
I would make it sound less crazy by saying maybe it's my shaved head.
Some kind of static charge on my super-short hairs.
I can feel that power as a throb inside my head.
And other people say they can't.
What a rubbish super-power to have.
I can detect power cables that are on 170 metre high pylons.
And... I can detect - with my head - whether there is 400,00 volts flowing through those cables, or less.
I will write to the National Grid and see if my natural gift can help them in any way.
See - already - I'm looking to use my power powers for profit.
This isn't going to end well.
(NOTE TO SELF: DO A TWEET - I CAN DETECT POWER IN PYLONS WITH MY HEAD. CAN I BE OF ANY HELP TO NATIONAL GRID?)
I will add this to the Alpha Male chapter of my book, Understanding Your Great British Dad. Here.
Vulnerability for writers... like Louis CK... #Scriptchat
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