Monday, 2 November 2015

Getting my own Home DNA Testing Kit from Home Bargains #BritishDadStuff

I was in Home Bargains last week, and among the Top Brands at Bottom Prices, this...

I couldn't look away from it.

You can pick up a DNA Testing Kit.

Off the shelf.
And - is that... Kerry Katona?

Not the actual one - obviously.

They've just gone and cloned one.

With their technology.

So I'm just glued to the spot looking at this thing, and all I'm thinking is I thank every single day that I don't need to pick up a DNA Testing Kit from Home Bargains.

"Don't tell me that son ain't mine..."

"But the DNA Testing Kit, Dan. From Home... Bargains..."

I don't know who Dan is in my unwritten play. It needs need more character work.

"...uses the very latest DNA technology and is trusted to be used by TV shows such as The Jeremy Kyle Show and media companies."

Because, you know. The Jeremy Kyle Show and Media Companies are exactly the two I reach for when making my Life Decisions.

And unlike that kid you've been paying for all this time, this has Free Home Delivery.

But remember,
"A home DNA test is for peace of mind purposes only..."

So I've added it to my complete list of Peace of Mind, here.

Now, a few days later, I've got too many questions.

What if you used a DNA kit to find out who took your marker pen.

What if you found a DNA Testing Kit in your kitchen cupboard.
How do you start that conversation?

What if you used a DNA Testing Kit to find out who bought the DNA Testing Kit.

What if you tried to use the DNA Kit to clone something you love.

What if it's like The Fly and the cat's DNA got in with the sample.
Proving beyond doubt, literally... that you are the cat's uncle.

Got any more?
Leave yer comments below.
I can trace them, by DNA.

All my British Dad Stuff is here

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