Tuesday, 8 July 2014

I hate seasoning my gadgets - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

- I hate seasoning my gadgets -

Life in 2014:

It’s called Windows 8, because that’s how many hours you’ve got to spend updating it on a laptop fresh out of the box.

With Windows there’s the updating of the thing itself... but beyond that it’s the settings. The precious settings... like changing the icons... changing the size of the icons... the unchecking that box buried in the submenu that stops maximising the window when you drag something to the edge... the desktop background picture... the menu bar colours... the wi-fi passwords... the which program opens that type of files...

Turning off the built-in crap with its interruptive notifications... disabling mouse-pad moves that throw you into whole other screens... deleting the things that don’t need to be hogging storage, bandwidth or my limited attention span...

And all of that’s before you get to re-installing any actual programs on there, and all the defaults they need - how the tabs open on the browser... the favourite fonts and (US) Briddish dictionaries... re-correcting the auto-correct big dashes, bulletpoint lists, and capitalized starts of sentences... purging inches and dollars, and backward dates and stingy margin sizes...

I’m a bloke. I love gadgets.

But I hate seasoning them.

Like it’s some kind of wok.

All my 2014 Dad Stuff For My Kids is here

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