Monday, 17 September 2018

What if I always think I've always given myself a stroke? And not in the good way. #WeAreTheProblems



I overthink everything to make the world a happier place

What if I always think I've always given myself a stroke?
And not in the good way.


Whenever I do anything that involves any kind of exercise, I always end up thinking...
"What if I've just given myself a stroke?"

And not in the good way.

It's like the other week, I'm doing this very kind martial arts programme...
that's all about flow, and working within your own limits.

And the instructors could not be clearer:
Go at your own pace.
Don't do anything that feels too hard.

Except... I'm a Dad in my forties on a Saturday morning.
How can I not show off and go as fast as I can?

So there I am, leaping and kicking.
And punching my six year old daughter.

I'm joking.
She's seven.

But she's got a shield.
And this is how I've been connecting with her.

Well it's how my rear-dynamic round punch fist strikes have been connecting with her.

But she loves it.
And the Instructors are saying again and again:
"Stop if you're doing too much".

And then we do stop.
And then so does my heart.
And then the tsunami of sweat.
And then... I'm obsessed... What if I've just given myself a stroke.

Because that's how it works:
If I worry about it hard enough, maybe somehow I can make it stop.

But if I can't, I'm thinking this gonna be really embarrassing.

Going into Right Front Stance...
...without any control over my right hand side.
Dribbling down my dobok instead of kihaping in Korean.

And now like every time before, I can't remember any of that acronym.

"Have I forgotten it because I'm just a pillock who can't concentrate?
Or have I forgotten it because... I've just given myself a stroke."

And I don't know how long it takes, so then I'm in the toilet...
Panic typing "Hoe can you stop a strike"

I s'pose at least the left hand's working with all the deleting.

Then I find it - and it's F facial drooping A arm weakness S slurred speech T time to call an ambulance...

But... I'm a Dad in my forties on a Saturday morning.
This is how I feel all of the week.

Anyway, I survived.
Did I learn anything from this?
Yes.

I am now a neurotic hypochondriac.
Black belt 6th dan.


New book out now!


Previous post...
What if I can't breathe through the night? Every night. #WeAreTheProblems


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