Monday, 13 November 2017
Kids app developers. And what goes on in their heads #DadDirt
TAYLOR approaches TODD’S work space - ergonomic desk and balance ball chair.
TODD is bashing code into his 3-screen computer.
TAYLOR gestures to his tablet, worried.
Dude sorry I’ve got to cut in again--
TODD gestures TAYLOR to sit on an office-chair-ball too.
You remember this app we’re rolling out for children?
Yeah the one you wanted to be the multi-platform experience kids have never seen before.
Yeah. It’s still a bit... “buggy”.
TODD calls it up on his keyboard.
We’ll iron those crinkles now - shoot!
On level 6--
I LOVE level 6.
Yeah, this is where we were hoping the kids would be totally engaged.
But level 6 is like--
“Put this thing down now.
Go and get some daylight.”
Awesome - no?!
That’s all it says.
Right. That’s all of level 6.
Which comes after levels 1-5.
“Now put this down and hug the person you love the most.”
“Step outside and breathe.”
“It’s a cosmic miracle you are here right now.
This place, this time.
Turn it off.”
“We love you.” -- That’s all it just says.
And “Let’s kill 12 more seconds of your young life with some more of this inconsequential irrelevance.”
Todd... Do you... Do you like doing this job?
Yeah. It’s pretty, powtastic.
It’s just that every kids app you make, compares what we do... us... that we get paid money to do... it’s like...
...It’s like we’re trying to get kids to smoke cigarettes.
That’s probably not what I was reaching for.
But that seems to be what you’re saying.
In every app, game and multi-platform experience you create--
Is it the font? I can change the font.
It’s not the font.
It’s the helping kids to stop using devices.
It’s not helping us.
Right. It’d be like a cigarette company killing off its customers.
No! Look, we’ve decided to move you over to a new project.
(pulls out ANOTHER TABLET)
Apps for Babies.
The TABLET pings up a BABY-FRIENDLY LOGO.
I am, like - way - ahead of you.
I’ve been working on this.
TODD’S TABLET plays baby-friendly music as he hands it over to TAYLOR.
Couples shouldn’t bathroom together, but we still do. #DadDirt
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