Monday, 16 October 2017
Wifes checklist for hubbys affair lady #DadDirt
In the supermarket aisles... DAD is pushing the trolley. MUM pulls him sideways.
Quick, over there. Don’t look.
(ON THE QUIET)
It’s the affair lady.
There’s an ATTRACTIVE 30-SOMETHING WOMAN.
That’s her job?
No, that’s what Claire calls her.
DAD tries not staring.
She’s the one on the left?
She’s the one who went off with that other Dad, and now they’re splitting up.
If you were to have an affair with someone like that, then at least I’d know, well, I can’t look like that so there’s nothing I could’ve done about it anyway.
And if she didn’t look like that...
I mean you look lovely.
If she wasn’t good-looking... I don’t think I could cope with that.
MUM considers a wall of coffee, but DAD’S head is grinding.
You mean, if I am going to have an affair. You want it to be with someone attractive.
I don’t know what I’d think if she wasn’t attractive. It’d probably be more upsetting. If she was plain - it’d mean there was something there that’s probably love. And that’s more hurtful.
So you want me to only go off with horny women.
MUM crosses out to shop on.
She’s not that hot.
We've all got a hobby thats someone elses job #DadDirt
All about me, and getting these by email.