Sunday, 29 October 2017

Married name or not married name? Either way women do all the work getting companies to change them #DadDirt



MUM opens a utility bill while DAD puts on a coat.

MUM
Ugh, these people. What is wrong with them.

She shoves the paper into DAD.

DAD
50 units of water over 6 months... No, that looks about right.

MUM
No, the name. Look at the names at the top.
They've got it wrong again.

DAD
Aww... You're all angry because it's not your married name.
That's so romantic.

MUM
It's completely useless as a utility bill.

On DAD, crestfallen.

MUM
How am I s'posed to use that?
Why is it so hard getting things changed or not changed.

She rips it up in anger.

DAD
I honestly don't mind if you kept your mai-- non-- name.
Your name. It's yours. I didn't force you to change it.

MUM
But then it ballses up the credit rating.
And I'm the one who's got to prove who I am.
I know who I am.

DAD
I... do too.

MUM
They're the ones who should do the proving.

DAD
You are the customer.

MUM
Right, and it's their stupid system.

DAD
We should just use our first names.

MUM
They've got so much data on us, they'd know -oh, my voiceprint, my phone number, "Hello Charlotte, how can we help you?"

DAD
I'm calling to trade-in my husband please. I hate his name!

MUM
You always make it about you, don't you.

DAD
I've phoned up to dump my husband.

MUM
(leaving house)
It's always about you isn't it.

DAD
"Can I have an ambulance please. I think I've killed my husband."

She’s gone.


Previous post...
I don't want a diffuser in the living room. I never get to decide these things really though. #DadDirt


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