Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Why Club biscuits are banned by my wife from our house #DadDirt



You know that you are a Great British Dad when...
...certain products are banned from your house for some reason.


I'm doing something in the kitchen that uses the same square-metre of floorspace as my Long-Suffering Wife (LSW)

ME
(SINGS) Love a club... Love a club...
If you don't lub-a-dub then you don't lub a dub
Cause everyone loves a Club.

LSW
I hate all adverts for Club.

ME
You don't like the song?

LSW
No they stopped us in Guildford High Street - me and my cousin - and said "Do you like chocolate?!"
It was us, of course we love chocolate!
"Can we borrow your children to help us for half an hour?"
Of course! "We're in the White Hart Hotel" or somewhere on the High Street.
So we left our parents, went off with these two adults.

ME
Ahhh, the 1980s.

LSW
I was so random I remember it so clearly.
We must've been about 11.
They showed us a load of adverts.
We went into this room in a hotel and there were other kids hoiked off the High Street, and they showed a load of adverts, and Club must've been one of them.

ME
How did you know they were from Club?

LSW
She started going on and on about Club.
Club this and Club that, but no-one could remember it, and it became pretty obvious they were marketing or advertising for Club.

ME
Can you remember which one - was it the one: (SINGS) "Have you ever seen a biscuit chocolatey... Lubba-dubba-lubba-dubba.. Lub Dub"

LSW
I couldn't remember it then and I can't remember it now.
They kept saying it was thick chocolate, and I remember saying "but the chocolate isn't very thick." But I suppose it was thick for a biscuit. I was probably comparing it to things like a Mars Bar.

And that was the hook "Do you like chocolate?!"
I didn't even get a whiff of chocolate.
Or anything at the end of it

ME
You didn't get paid.

LSW
I got a pen.
It didn't even have the word CLUB on it.
It was just this normal biro.
I'm not sure if they were dissatisfied with my services.
That their advertising campaign wasn't working, at all.

ME
(SINGS) Everyone loves a club!

LSW
I might've stolen the pen.

Previous post...
Disney princes and princesses, which way round and what next #DadDirt


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