Wednesday, 28 June 2017

It’s not a blob of cream on my top lip, it’s a scar. Honest. #DaddyWrong



You know that you are a Great British Dad when...
...your own Dad spots what you look like.


Brighton. I'm at a beach front coffee stand with my mate Dan.

DAN
You've got something on your top lip.

I give it a wipe.

DAN
No, it's still there.

ME
Oh, no, I think I know what that is...

DAN
(demos) Just, down a bit, there.

ME
Sorry, it's a scar.

DAN
Oh God, no, I'm sorry. How terrible.

ME
No, here's the thing, you cared enough to say.

DAN
(laughs) Yeah, cared enough to say clean up your face... but it's a permanent disfigurement. It's not er... hare lip though, is it? Oh you shouldn't use that word should you.

ME
I got it in the Boris bike crash 5 years ago, and you know what...
I think only one other person has ever mentioned it.

FLASHBACK: Me and Dad in his flat in suits.

DAD
(pointing to lip) You've got a bit of thing there - on your lip - just under your nose.

ME
It's a scar.

DAD
No, just there.
(rubbing my top lip)
It looks like a bit of food.
I'll get it.

ME
No, really, it's a scar - from the Boris Bike crash.

DAD
God, I'd never noticed that before. Oh. Sorry son.
It looks like er... you know, a hare lip... You can't call it that - whatdycall it?

Back with Dan, on the beach, with coffee.

ME
Only my Dad has ever said something about it.
Honest. I'm honoured you'd even notice it.

DAN
Ahhh, I feel so bad.

ME
I do need a tissue though.


Previous post...
My new kids scary story. Daddy vs Energy Company Evil Magic Numbers #DaddyWrong


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