Friday, 20 January 2017

Why every AC Cable Detector I ever bought is wrong. It's me. All along. #BritishDadStuff



You know that you are a Great British Dad when...
...you can’t even operate basic machinery properly.


LIVING ROOM ALCOVE:
GREAT BRITISH DAD PUSHES A RED AC CABLE DETECTOR TO THE WALL.
LONG SUFFERING WIFE HOVERS WITH HER TEA.
[BEEP!]

LONG SUFFERING WIFE:
Yeah, you want to be careful.

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
But when I hold it there again - nothing.
[NO BEEP]

LSW:
Maybe it’s the batteries?

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
Changed them.
When I was out I... (SHEEPISH) got another one.

HE PULLS OUT A YELLOW AC CABLE DETECTOR AND PRESSES IT IN RANDOM PLACES ON THE WALLS.

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
It hasn’t got the bars, but it still works on the cables I know about.
But when you put it on the hole I just drilled...
[NO BEEP]
It says it’s clear.

HE MOVES IT AROUND.
[BEEP!]

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
But it’s just as confusing.
[BEEP!]

LSW:
So, I don’t understand - it’s meant to beep when it detects a mains power cable?

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
Yeah. And it does that on the cables I know about

HE DEMONSTRATES ABOVE THE LIGHT SWITCH.
[BEEP!]

LSW:
But it’s also detecting things in the middle of the wall?

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
Yes. But why would there be a cable there?
[BEEP!]

LSW:
It’s an old house.

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
But then it doesn’t detect something there?
[NO BEEP]
I’m just worried that it beeps on the hole I’ve already drilled.
[BEEP!]
Sometimes.
I’m worried the... it’s like the whole wall is live?

HE PUTS THE DETECTOR IN RANDOM PLACES ON THE ALCOVE WALLS AROUND HIM. [BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!]

LSW:
Oh God.

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
I wonder if I’m discharging the walls when I’m touching them.

LSW:
Please stop.
If it’s not safe.

HE PUTS THE DETECTOR ON THE SMALL HOLE HE’S ALREADY DRILLED.
[BEEP!]
TAKES IF OFF AND PUTS IT ON AGAIN.
[NO BEEP]

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
No beep.
I’m going in.
Just on this one I’ve done already.
Looks like there’s fewer beeps there anyway.

HE PICKS UP HIS DRILL.
[BEEEEEEP!]
HE PUTS DOWN THE DRILL.
[NO BEEP]
PICKS IT UP AGAIN.
[BEEEEEEP!]
PUTS IT DOWN AGAIN.
[NO BEEP]

HIS VIEWPOINT:
HE’S STANDING NEAR THE EXTENSION LEAD THE DRILL’S PLUGGED INTO.

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
Awwww-- [BEEP!]

HE STEPS ON THE LEAD AGAIN.
[BEEP!]
AND AGAIN
[BEEP!]

GREAT BRITISH DAD:
(TO LSW) Seen this?

TREADING ON AND OFF THE LEAD.
[BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!]

LSW:
Silly sod.

[BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!]


Previous post...
Getting data mined or some welly socks for my wife. #BritishDadStuff


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