Thursday, 12 January 2017

Making cakes for coffee shop chains. My latest original idea for cash. #BRITISHDADSTUFF



You know that you are a Great British Dad when...
...you can spot yet another great idea to make money using your family.


ME:
I was in the queue in the coffee shop and they were still you know setting up... but on the counter they'd left out the invoice.

WIFE:
The invoice?

ME:
The invoice from the cake company for their cake.

WIFE:
Cake. One cake?

ME:
Yeah, I couldn't stop looking at it. It was an invoice for a single carrot cake.

WIFE:
How much, how much...

ME:
(teasing)
You wanna know how much?
(then)
£7.64.

WIFE:
£7.64. For a single carrot cake.

ME:
I don't know if they get other money or VAT on that, but that's how much for a carrot cake.
£7.64.
They flog it 2.80 a slice - 2.70 to eat out.
And there's about 14 slices.

WIFE:
So if they sell... 3 slices, they're ahead.

ME:
(does sums)
Yeah.

WIFE:
(does sums)
And they make about 30 quid a cake.

ME:
Yeah. Some guy in the other shop moaned about a fly landing on one. He wouldn't budge till they took the whole cake away.

WIFE:
Yeah, like they threw that away.

ME:
Right, I love it. That's his gift to the world today.
Cake hygene.
"I will not let any contamination stay in my eyeline."

WIFE:
We could make one cheaper than that.

ME:
That's what I thought. We could beat 7.64, right?
(remembers)
It had a delivery note that even said the temperature of the van. 1 degree chilled, minus 18 frozen. But I didn't see the price.

WIFE:
If we made them we could hand carry them

ME:
Maybe that's where the money is. Cake deliveries.

WIFE:
It's like a really special uber. Our car's cold in the morning.

ME:
We can use Old Ladies to deliver them around town. Cake experts. They don't have to be quick.

WIFE:
They can use their free bus pass.

ME:
They'd have trolleys with our logo - to, you know, protect the cakes.

WIFE:
Like the deliveroo boxes.

ME:
On top of the trolley. OAP... 'old a pastry.

WIFE:
Cake -GO -A-P...

ME:
Probably need a bit more work on that.

WIFE:
Yeah, the name.
That's the problem with that idea.
(beat)
I'm gonna make a carrot cake.


Previous post...
Whoops I changed how you say Ibuprofen. Some more Transformers fan fiction for my son. #BRITISHDADSTUFF


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