Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Where the free stuff from the coffee shop ends - BritishDadStuff

You know that you are a Great British Dad...
...when you think of freebies from all angles.

So I'm sitting on the toilet in the coffee shop.
They're huge - like their mugs.
Coffee chains have got a thing about bowl china.

But I'm staring up at the lights - ones that are buried into the ceiling.
And I'm sitting there and I'm thinking.
"I wonder if they are dimmable?"

Because I really haven't been able to find LED halogen bulbs like that for my kitchen.
They've got 2 thin pins on the bottom, and there are loads of 2-pin LED halogen-style bulbs, but none of them are dimmable.

And now I'm thinking "will anyone miss a bulb?"
There are 4 of them.
It's brighter in here than the sun.

They give away stirrers. And straws. And toilet paper. And paper cups. And sugar.
I never take the sugar.
I'm sure, at the coffee chain headquarters, they've worked out some kind of allocation of sugar.
I've never taken any of it.

And I'm sitting there thinking is it wrong for me to offset my sugar - that I haven't had - for a lightbulb instead?

There has never been a list of rules - they could put them next to the menu. They charge extra for soya, and syrup. But nothing about the mug. It doesn't say "mug not included".

Don't tell me they didn't have some kind of lawyer meeting at coffee chain HQ - where they didn't work that out already.

So why don't we just walk out with the mug?

It has never occurred to me to take the mug away from the coffee shop.
That is how I know my mind is pure.

So how is it that my mind can leap to the light fittings before walking out with the mug?

But I know that it's wrong.

So where's the line?

If you need to use steps.

That's probably the line.

But if you stood on the toilet seat...

I can't do it.
It's wrong.
And I've blogged about it now.
People would know that it's me.

They're probably not dimmable.

My complete guide to Understanding Your British Dad is coming together here

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