Monday, 25 July 2016

Me trying to help an angry old lady not cross the road #BritishDadStuff



You know that you are a Great British Dad...
...when you over-think your role in the community.


EXT. QUIET STREETS - DAY

I'm walking down the street. Thinking so loud, you can hear it.

ME:
(VOICEOVER) I wonder if I'm too self-involved. I want to be more mindful - more aware. I'm just too in my own head the whole time.

POV: An OLD LADY struggles with a FRAME across the road, trying to step off the kerb.

ME:
(VOICEOVER) She's too far away for me to help. It'd be weird to run over... Probably bit demeaning too. (BEAT) I know! I'll shoot her a nice supportive winning smile.

OLD LADY looks up, catches this, and scowls.

OLD LADY:
(SHOUTING) Oh yeah, that's nice.

I turn on the spot. There's someone behind me, right?

OLD LADY:
I can't walk and there's you laughing at me.

ME:
(VOICEOVER) She thinks I'm having a go.

OLD LADY:
Look at you, standing there. Making fun of me. That's very nice that is. (ETC.)

ME:
(VOICEOVER) I've really upset her... I can't go over there now - she'll think I'm attacking her... How can I show her everything's okay...

I U-TURN AND RUN. Like Chris Froome up Mont Ventoux.

OLD LADY:
(SHOUTING) Go on. Be like that. You'll be like this one day.

I run faster.


My complete guide to Understanding Your British Dad is coming together here. Specially after I've gone through all my posts to put the best ones in the right order...

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Avoiding Road Rage with Air Triangles #BritishDadStuff


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