Wednesday, 27 July 2016
Man in coffee shop. Scrolling down his phone. Jigging his knee. #BritishDadStuff
You know you're a Great British Dad...
...when you can see suffering, and want to do something about it.
I was in the coffee shop the other day,
and walked past a man hunched over a newspaper spread all over the table,
with a coffee, scrolling down his phone.
He didn't look happy.
He kept on scrolling and scrolling, over his open newspaper, jigging his knee.
To him, he's taking a well-earned break, with a nice coffee... probably catching up on all the news he's missed before he came in.
It's something he really wants to do, and he's paid actual money to be here.
And he's still scrolling and scrolling.
And jigging his knee.
And he's frowning.
Scrolling and scrolling.
Jigging his knee.
I realise that I'm staring at him.
That's how I'm spending the money here.
I can't stop looking at him,
scrolling and scrolling.
And that jigging knee.
Then I'm thinking, if an animal is behaving like this in a zoo... we'd be a bit concerned.
We'd probably step in, and try to stop this distress that they're clearly showing.
So I stroked his head and said "shhhhhh".
But he bit my hand and hid in the corner.
Turns out they are not there for our entertainment.
And we should never try to intervene.
My complete guide to Understanding Your British Dad is coming together here
When you get pen marks off your car interior... #BritishDadStuff
I am Optimus Prime,
and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars.
We are waiting.
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