Thursday, 5 May 2016

The coffee shop grift... Working over a barista...



INT. BUSY CHAIN COFFEE SHOP - DAY

NICK waits with a crowd of people at the end of the counter waiting for his coffee.

"Nick" calls the Barista.

A woman swoops the latte away.

"Janet."
A coffee is put down and taken away.
"Ally".
More cups put down and handed away.

The Barista double-takes.

"Sorry, what drinks are you waiting on?"
"A latte?"

It's not there. The Barista apologises again and hands over a new drink.

Outside the shop, Nick walks out with the latte and joins the woman who took the first coffee.

"Nick?"
They chink cups, and walk on happily.

ROXXIE (O.S.): "It's stealing."

HARD CUT TO:

NICK and ROXXIE on their sofa with mugs of tea.

"The only thing they care about is giving good service.
That's what costs them actual money. That's all they care about."

ROXXIE is unmoved: "It's still stealing though."

"But it's not my fault if someone else took my drink!"

ROXXIE's decision is final.
"Nope. Doesn't count. Disqualified."

"But I'm the victim, and they get the win from making me - the customer - happy."
NICK's on thin ice.

"You're only happy because you're not the thief in the plan. I am!"

"But you've long gone. And whose to say you didn't make an honest mistake?"

ROXXIE (AD LIB) "You fail! Login not recognised. Try again... Come up with another plan."

A moment.

"Oooh ooh, I know" NICK lightbulbs:"Scooping up receipts from a self-service till... going round gathering all the products on them and walking out the supermarket... with the receipts for everything..."

Longer pause.

CUT TO BLACK

My complete guide to Understanding Your British Dad is here

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