Monday, 15 February 2016

CSI BritishDadStuff - Nerf bullet, through living room paper lantern shade



You know you're a Great British Dad...
when you perform a crime scene investigation on the living room lampshade.

I honestly can't tell you which of them did this.
My son claims it's a misfire from his younger sister.

Which is a convincing witness statement - her aiming is terrible. Her technique is terrifying, "tote the weapon while throwing your arms in the air Princess-Elsa-style."

But it's a little too convincing.
The trajectory from the stairs to the shade is an arc that matches a sniper style attack from the top of the staircase, maybe using the bannister for stability.



There are two Nerf guns in the house and the second one hasn't been traced.
Which means we could be looking at a serial lampshade killer.
While both suspects walk free.

I blame myself.
They're too damn expensive to give or throw away.
(The guns, not the kids).
I can't even bring myself to re-start that "shooting over the roof" game to bring down the level of ammo in the house.

How many more IKEA things face senseless (but easy) destruction before I can bring Nerf Gun Control into the home?


All my British Dad Stuff is here

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How Seinfeld writes and every profane word I can think of for my Sacred and Profane weekly draw #scriptchat


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