Wednesday, 20 January 2016
Dinner vs. Tea - the battle over our kids language continues #BritishDadStuff
The Ongoing War over our child pronouncing toothpaste as "tuth" and Dinner vs. Tea.
I love my wife - the mother of our kids - and I'm proud of her heritage.
Which just happens to be from the West of England - round the areas of Cheltenham, Gloucester, Forest of Dean.
She is really well-spoken, and the only accent...
Literally - the only accent - is one word.
One single word.
Is pronounced "Tuth".
"I don't have any tuthpaste"
"I've got tuth ache!"
"Will we get any money from the Tuth Fairy?"
No no no no.
Why can't I let her have that one word?
Why has it thrown me that now that's how our kids pronounce it?
Is it some kind of DNA war going on there where my genes have to triumph?
I hope to pass on to my son a working knowledge of the one-way systems of North London and Male Pattern Baldness, so what's wrong with this one word?
There's actually another word that we're fighting for in our household too,
and I've seen it in other parents who have children of a North-South dual heritage.
I know this is controversial, but it's barmy.
We've never discussed it - it's a silent one-word war of attrition - over our kids' minds.
Whoever gets "tea" or "dinner" used more will win.
Before heading off for a birthday, our four year old daughter summed it up when she asked -
"Will there be party tea?"
What is party tea?
Is it a drink?
Or an event involving the drink?
I get it - it's a shortening of Afternoon Tea.
But fish-fingers at 5pm is not a course at The Ritz.
So like the North-South skirmishes on the Korean Border, through repeated minor skirmishes, wins that aren't wins and constant propaganda-pushing our cause, we each both know deep down...
that we shall prevail.
All my British Dad Stuff is here
Being cool to the really cool older kids in Gospel Oak Primary school. Orchestra. 1981.
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