Tuesday, 17 November 2015
I'm not a Dad. I'm a Netflix projectionist. #BritishDadStuff
As a Dad, I have many roles to play within the family.
But none is more cherished than that of "Netflix Projectionist."
I say that.
But from the industry I'm in, it's not quite as grand.
It's more of an assistant video playback operator.
And one who's constantly missing his cues.
"Dad, can you pause it?"
"Dad, it's stopped."
"Dad can you press play."
"Dad, the sound's not there."
"Dad, I need a wee. Pause it again please."
It's just a war of attrition to get me to let them have direct access to the Netflix.
They will not win.
I will be playing the Netflix when they are in their twenties.
That's if they don't crack our access all areas passcode.
Always shield our PIN.
And then there's decoding the titles.
So I'd like to think I'm Artistic Director, or Channel Controller.
But it's more like translator/psychic.
"Dad, that's for girls."
"No Daddy, that's boys."
"No not that one. The other one.
The one with the gaps at the beginning."
"Wooly and the Jungle Book." (huh?)
"Mogler, Daddy. Mogler, please. Mogler? Mogler."
My YouTube home page looks like a deranged maniac.
They bent my Google algorithm.
Tweet to @NeilMossey
All my British Dad Stuff is here
Seen any funny foreign language TV comedy sketches? Got any good ones?
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