PENCIL FOOD OH - more from the messed up walls that are our Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

"Basically, our kids destroying our home, one work of art at a time..."

Let's keep strolling down the mess strewn corridors of The Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery...

#7 - PENCIL FOOD OH



Graphite 5B Pencil (we think) and Nutella (we think) on B&Q Value Matt Emulsion

We think this is a companion piece to "Pencil Food".

It appeared on the opposite side of the same wall.

There looks like an "O" and even possibly an "E" in a nod to the identity of The Artist.

Or maybe it's a sigh. 

We think it's a sigh.


All the Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery is here... Enjoy!

(This never happens to anyone else whatsoever. But if it does, feel free to leave a comment below or tweet me a picture...)

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These 3 have no idea what its like to be a tightwad dad - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

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These 3 have no idea what its like to be a tightwad dad - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

Never uses vouchers in McDonalds

The rest of #These3Men


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PENCIL FOOD - another chance to relive the hell from our Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

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PENCIL FOOD - another chance to relive the hell from our Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

"Basically, our kids destroying our home, one work of art at a time..."

Here's something else from the walls of our Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery...

#6 - PENCIL FOOD



Graphite 5B Pencil (we think) and Nutella (we think) on B&Q Value Matt Emulsion

A temporary pre-dirty protest.

All the Toddler "Art" is here... Enjoy!

(Or send one of your own over.)

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These 3 look more like needers than leaders - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

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These 3 look more like needers than leaders - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

Never sing "ooh - ahh" in the middle of "Hey baby, (do you wanna be my girl)."

The rest are here


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FREEDOM CORNER - our house being wrecked as Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

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FREEDOM CORNER - our house being wrecked as Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

"Basically, our kids destroying our home, one work of art at a time..."

Another example from The Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery...

#5 - FREEDOM CORNER



Graphite 5B Pencil (we think) on B&Q Value Matt Emulsion

Interesting that the artist has chosen pencil for this work.

(No pencils are made available to The Artist.
We have no idea where it came from or where it went).



A mocking echo of the decorative willow sticks behind which the work appears.

We think this says (with temporary impudence) that the sticks may be contained, but my freeflowing lines are not.


The full Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery is here... Enjoy!

(Send one of yours over! Just leave a comment below or send me tweet.)

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These men are still not like me - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

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These men are still not like me - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

Never has to add water to make the Dolmio go a bit further

The rest of #These3Men are here

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The Sacred and The Profane

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The Sacred and The Profane

Writers’ Room Guru Brent Forrester explained a basic theory of comedy that coupling the sacred with the profane is usually a good way to find the funny.



On this podcast, he relays that
“Most jokes have at their core, a contrast between the sacred and the profane.”

The High and The Low in contrast:
Religion, old people, babies, funerals...
...combined with sex, the toilet, violence, rock and roll etc. etc. etc.

So for example, urban hip hop breakdancing cute babies
(like in ‘that’ water advert).



They’re also a good way of generating moments of super nobility
(angelic choirs singing hymns on mountain tops)
or super evil...
(illuminated advertising street bins).

I’m going to try and start lists of The Sacred and The Profane, and bank them on a new page.

SACRED Old People Funeral Classical music Statue War hero Nobel prize Literature Archaeology Babies Pregnant Mums

PROFANE Rock star Porn Star Fly hole Faeces Noise Pollution Drugs Thieving Urine Blow job

The complete list of The Sacred And The Profane is here...

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DIY Wedding Ring - the only thing that damages it - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

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DIY Wedding Ring - the only thing that damages it - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

- D.I.Y. Wedding Ring -

The only thing that damages my wedding ring is D.I.Y.

I try not to think of this as some kind of metaphor.

By the way, I am very proud of my overly-literal Getty-Images-style library-picture-like reconstruction.

Thanks for getting these by email here - helps me keep these going...

All my 2014 Dad Stuff For My Kids is here

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What those radio jingle singers look like in real life...

What those radio jingle singers look like in real life...

- What those radio jingle singers look like in real life... -

You know when you hear a jingle on the radio, and you get a picture in your head of what they look like... perky 20-something, perma-tanned, Californians probably, fresh off the beach in shorts and radio-station-branded T-shirts?

In reality, it looks exactly like that.



Here's the making of the Radio 2 jingle package... Love that it's the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra doing Ken Bruce's Popmaster.



Had no idea that Steve Wright's afternoon show theme was specially composed.




I lost my soundcloud of the full County Sound station theme (thanks soundcloud for hiding tracks if you accidentally go over your limit and not able to get them back...), but the poetry goes something like this:

We are your music, and your news each day,
Wherever you're going, we're going your way.
Open up your hearts, and you will let a little sunshine through,
With County Sound, the one and only one for you.
- I'll try and get it embedded somewhere else by the time this post goes up

It's a bit like the BBC Shropshire theme. We had it on the RDA jingles night, cut to news images from around the world that day.




Added this to my big list of fave things on the web, after "Man in Nursing Home reacts to hearing music from his era" and "Photos ruined by dogs pooing in the background"...


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ARTIST WITH PERMANENT RED ON WHITEBOARD - we hide pens but theyre still on the walls of our Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

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ARTIST WITH PERMANENT RED ON WHITEBOARD - we hide pens but theyre still on the walls of our Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

"Basically, our kids destroying our home, one work of art at a time..."

More from The Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery archive...

#4 - ARTIST WITH PERMANENT RED ON WHITEBOARD

This is a very rare sighting of one of The Artists captured next to one of their pop-up works.

They prefer to work in anonymity.

We should stress, again, that no pens or art materials are provided to The Artist, which perhaps makes the works more of an event when they appear.



Red Permanent Marker Pen on Dry-Wipe Whiteboard.

We like the pose with the toy hammer.

A provocative visual statement of denial.


All the other works of art by our toddlers around the house are here... Enjoy!

(Love it if you could send any over - maybe comment below or tweet.)

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Never gets excited by the new Special Offer week in Lidl - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

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Never gets excited by the new Special Offer week in Lidl - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

Never gets excited by the new "Special Offer" week in Lidl.

The rest are here


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Whats In Your Fruit Bowl... the new, new internet game thats sweeping the etc etc etc

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Whats In Your Fruit Bowl... the new, new internet game thats sweeping the etc etc etc

- What's In Your Fruit Bowl -

So hot on the heels of the ongoing internet sensation "What's On Your Stairs?" (#WhatsOnYourStairs) comes this, courtesy of @britaliankitchn

@NeilMossey, After seeing my random fruit bowl @Nicola_DRozario reckons it begs the question #WhatsInYourFruitbowl pic.twitter.com/ujX8xYlAHr

— Angela Romeo (@britaliankitchn) August 2, 2014

#WhatsInYourFruitBowl Some pebbles, tissues, loom band instructions, 2 notebooks, scissors & a dice @britaliankitchn pic.twitter.com/ltdvzsfDCG

— Neil Mossey (@NeilMossey) August 6, 2014

@NeilMossey #whatsinyourfruitbowl There's some fruit in there somewhere pic.twitter.com/uhd3XsOT3g

— Liz Butcher (@frizzychick) August 6, 2014

@NeilMossey @britaliankitchn the usual pic.twitter.com/m4lz5Vdies

— sylvia doherty (@grouville) August 6, 2014

Latest #WhatsInYourFruitBowl is here


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My texts are pathetic - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

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My texts are pathetic - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

- My texts are pathetic -

Oscar Wilde and Lord Byron had whole books of correspondence published as great literary works.

Don't think my texts and emails are quite there yet.



All my 2014 Dad Stuff For My Kids is here

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There are too many Emma Bs - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

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There are too many Emma Bs - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS

- There are too many Emma Bs -



Life in 2014:

Is it me, or are there like a load of ‘Emma B’s’ in the world?


People now are split between two types of name.

The ones that are sort of unique - uncommon enough to be searched with a country or a job.

Or the one where you have to disambiguate yourself.

Which is good because you can sort of be anonymous online, but bad because you have to come up with a crazy handle to stand out.


All my 2014 Dad Stuff For My Kids is here

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Behind the scenes of BBC Television Centre 1971

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Behind the scenes Television Centre 1971

Added this to my pile of videos shot in TV control rooms

Behind The Scenes - Television Centre (1971)


The full bunch of behind the scenes links here


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FENCE BEHIND YOUR HEAD - another example of mess from around our home in the Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

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FENCE BEHIND YOUR HEAD - another example of mess from around our home in the Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery

"Basically, our kids destroying our home, one work of art at a time..."

Our dipping back into the Friday Night Toddler Art Gallery archives continues...

#3 - Fence Behind Your Head

Black permanent marker pen on Lilac Echo Matt Dulux emulsion.

This simple statement is, we think, the Artist's first recorded use of black permanent marker pen.

(We have no idea where the pens come from, having attempted to lock up, hide or burn any inked instrument in the house).



Funnily enough, The Artist has chosen to site “Fence Behind Your Head” on our attempt to paint out a previous more complex work rendered in red permanent marker pen.

Is this deliberate? Who knows.

If it is, then perhaps it's significant that the fence appears to be broken.


All the other works of art by our toddlers around the house are here... Enjoy!

(I'd love it if you have any to send over - leave a comment below or tweet me.)

Following me by email really helps me keep this blog going

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Never dashes out to top up the ticket in the hospital car park - DAD STUFF FOR MY KIDS