Hates - People who deliberately hold their glasses to pose for photos like Martin Sorrell.
It’s not fair, and it’s not right, and I don’t believe in violence, but this picture really winds me up.
For some reason, I have a primal hatred of people who deliberately hold their glasses to pose for photos.
And I think this man started the whole thing.
I believe he is a “marketing expert”.
This stupid photo, by itself, is already having me imagining that he’s deliberately applying a theory that holding your glasses in photos will deliver some “key messaging” that this will make you look ‘pro-active’. ‘Engaged’.
It’s not an accident. He’s got form.
It's his 'thing'.
It’s like you can’t look at me without being distracted.
Why do I know deep down that you are about to speak very slowly.
(WHILE DOING MEDIA TRAINING HAND GESTURES)
With some finger-jab half-points to punctuate your politician hand jiving while you emphasise your one-way conversation.
You don't neeed to touch them.
I promise you, they'll stay on your face even without your surefooted Alpha guidance...
No! Stop it. Everyone's at it!
I need to calm down.
Let me pause for a moment while I just hold my pen and stare into middle distance while I gather my great thoughts.
[INSERT AFFECTED SELFIE HERE]
"I need to add this to my list of hates."
All my 2014 Dad Lessons For My Kids are here
The theme to Toast by Matt Berry
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