Wednesday, 26 February 2014

And I said yes you look wonderful tonight - DAD LESSONS FOR MY KIDS



INT. KITCHEN - DAY

I'm doing the washing-up, and my Wife is cutting something. RADIO 2 is playing: Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton.

WIFE:
There's more to it than that.

ME:
Huh?

WIFE:
She puts on her make-up. And brushes her long blonde hair. And "Yes", you look wonderful tonight.

ME:
Ah... yeah. Guess he's saying that she looks good, whatever.

WIFE:
Plucking. De-fuzzing everything.
(THEN) Hair straighteners. Putting on false eyelashes.

I go to say something.

WIFE: (cont.)
Doing nails. Various serums and volume mousses.
Fake tan. (PAUSE) Moisturisers.

I wait to see if that's it.

WIFE: (cont.)
You've just put on your makeup, and brushed your long blonde hair.
(Right) You look "wonderful" tonight.

She's seen right through Clapton's woman.


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